fuck this mother fucking place and all the shit that comes with it.  fuck god and fuck life.  fuck AA.  fuck all those mother fuckers with their shit.  this place is a shithole.  i need to get some shitty ass job and get some shitty paychecks and get the fuck out of here.  i need to get some money together and get some shitty ass place and get an ( Read more... )

got this feeling like i need to do something, but i don't know what.  i guess it's boredom.  i don't know.  i went to this meeting and i couldn't pay attention and i didn't want to either.  don't really know what to do with myself right now.  maybe go to bed.  i don't know.

i got less done today than i did yesterday.  that's an accomplishment.  i wonder what tomorrow will be like?  i don't have all that much planned for today, just hittin up a sweet AA meeting later.  i get to ride my sweet bicycle through the sweet ass 100 degree weather in awesome palm beach.  ggrrrrreeeeeaaaaatttttt........   still nobody has ( Read more... )

i snuck off to the library today...  how cool is that.   most drug addicts would go and get high, i go and read wikipedia and fark.com.  damn colin took away the laptop because he said it was becoming a problem for me.  maybe it was, but really what am i supposed to be doing?   i don't have a job and i don't have any friends so i sit on the laptop ( Read more... )

so i got a sweet cigarette which is pretty good news for me, i can't wait to smoke it.  actually i can, i'm just waiting for someone to come by to smoke it with me.  i crave the connection.  i crave the human contact but it's so hard for me to get it.  i don't like doing it.  it seems hard because i'm not real like i used to be.  i need to get back ( Read more... )

so i am watching the same damn episode of family guy again like i haven't seen it.                 pause.......    lol i am just trying to keep typing stream of consciousness style really it's kind of hard, i used to be able to do it easily but i can't so much anymore because my head is all clogged up with bad thoughts or irrelevant shit and i just ( Read more... )

i miss being all tripped out going on the damn drug chatroom thinking it was full of super realistic artificial intelligence.  i missed those days because i had a shitty job that i didn't mind going to, i was going to school and getting Bs and Cs with minimal effort.  i was with bethany and we didn't hate the fuck out of each other.  things were ( Read more... )

so i was at this place for a little bit before i started running out of money.  i didn't want to ask for help..  i really didn't want to, but i should have, because i ran out of money and couldn't pay my rent, and then decided that life was a bitch not worth dealing with so i went out to get as fucked up as possible.  i ended up checking myself ( Read more... )

so i keep on writing and writing ( Read more... )

so i don't really know what to write about.  whatever comes to mind is what is being put on this page.   i gotta have some kind of outlet i guess.  i don't really have that in my life.  maybe the reason i was doing so much better back then is because i had a sweet outlet.  there is something about facebook i can't stand.  i know for sure i can't ( Read more... )