Everytime I think about the past I relive it. The memories there still haunt me and I often wonder where I am going to hide away that bit of me and start again. Am I still akward in shy or is it in my personality to be different around women. There are a few that I am act myself around and truly I feel different with them because the effort to be ( Read more... )

Stones taught me to fly and love taught me to lie so come on courage teach me to be shy. Its all been the same lately and I am painfully aware that I am afraid of love still. I know I don't have to worry about it for now but someday ill have to face the truth. Its not hard to fail its not easy to win so yeah ill fight on because that's what I do ( Read more... )

I am back in Florida again my credit score has been reset thanks to my inability to pay it during boot camp. Oh well I will work it back up none the less It is at around 645 right now and the negative reports shred away as of the year 2017 while the good credit stays till 2018. Prime time to buy a house provided I make it there. This year I set ( Read more... )

I am leaving for the Marine Core and soon. I have till sept. 20 to get myself 3 pull ups again. I am working my best at it. Though it hurts I have to keep trying cause without three I got nothing. Right now I have good friends, i get to experience things I never thought possible and I get to leave it all behind to start over again. I dont know why ( Read more... )

07/04/2010 ( Read more... )

I remember when falling in love was so easy it was just a hello and I could pour my heart into it and hope for the best. Now its more or less just not worth trying anymore I could love but I wont I am happy enough alone but I am not. Whats missing is my courage to try again and again until I find it and I could go for the whole one night thing but ( Read more... )

Man I really have changed a lot. Or have I ( Read more... )

I am moving out soon dont exactly know where to yet hopefully its a decent place with decent neighbors. If not well at least I can say I have a place, hopefully going to go by the end of the month.

Truth be told I am not depressed but for the first time I get to see first-hand what it can do to you. I see depression eating others around me alive. Taking them down and holding them there, there is small bouts of happiness but they are so rare anymore. Reminds me of a song I heard once "cant heal you, dont want to, cause you wont save your ( Read more... )

My weights are my lover... My job is my wife... My running is my fling... My friends are my confidants...

Anything could change and I would still have them all. How could I ask for more? Nothing has shown more loyalty than my friends and family I owe them all for being with me still. I have been so cold for so long to them all. I am... Sorry.