This morning i was charged with ordering a flower arrangement for a funeral i will be attending this evening. My immediate concern was the fact neither i nor my father know the first name of the deceased, so i couldn't rightfully place the order. What a fiasco! The deceased, by the way, is my Uncle Johnny's mother-in-law. She was ninety-four ( Read more... )

Alright, so i can't hack it. Been reading too much of this suffocatingly impossible "true love" tosh. Here’s a fictional sample of what I mean: "One moment without you and my heart is frosted over black with ice; i used to be able to wake up in the morning empty-headed and normal but now my body cannot breathe without you - God help me i can’t live ( Read more... )

I shower across the street from dead people.
I eat and sleep and breathe across the street from dead people.
While i'm lathering up the Herbal Essences, they're rotting in their graves.
That's weird, right?

So i live across the street from a massive cemetery.  When i look out the window, all i see is a big hill covered in tombstones portraying the ( Read more... )

Now that i've got this god damn thing i've got nothing to say.  Isn't it always the way?

I'd say it was an auspicious start, wouldn't you?