Opinion Needed

[silvennia]

Read and tell me my errors? I haven't been writing a proper essay for ages (thanks to research proposals and whatnot lol), and I want to start brushing up on story-writing! Thanks in advance! ^_^

And please, constructive criticism XDDDD

Comments

[anonymous]

well.... I wanted to sleep but my cold not letting me so...

[Perhaps it had something to do with a string of sullen teenagers to handle monthly that made her somewhat conditioned for these types, she mused]
- perhaps a bit of rewording is needed. Sleepy head dun wanna try rewording the sentence atm but I read that line like hanging a bit. Or it's just me.

and 'aroused'. I think 'rekindled' was more suitable.

[honou_no_izumi]

That was me btw..... din realize din login.

[silvennia]

lol!! okay thanks ^_^ will reword it later then :)