You lot are absolutely pathetic. Have you all lost your quills? Your computers? Your minds? (Don't answer that.) For the longest time there's nothing but whining and trivialities, and the next thing you know there's nothing at all ( Read more... )

Pansy, I'm to extend to you my family's invitation to come to a party on Christmas Eve. You're welcome to come whenever you like, of course, and stay a few days, if you're in the mood to keep my company. Congratulations on your apprenticeship; Mother was impressed. I expect she's hoping to discuss fashion with you, now ( Read more... )

One more week watching you all struggle under the weight of inadequately-prepared-for exams, frolic in the snow like halfwits who've never seen it before, and awkwardly exchange imbecilic presents. Really, at times you're all quite too much to be borne.

Fortunately, in only a few more days I will be home en famille, where I am properly ( Read more... )

Attention, Hogwarts:

You are boring. Obscenely, insanely, dreadfully boring. You should be ashamed of yourself. And you should be entertaining me. Honestly.

Honestly, Weasley, being a professional--and I use the term quite loosely--for the Chudley Cannons is hardly a qualification to captain a children's side, let alone Gryffindor, but as your competition I'm hardly in a position to complain about the choice. By all means, spread your incompetence through the ranks. Slytherin, in the meantime, will ( Read more... )

I was recently asked what it was I want. Taking this as a purely general statement, of course, I found myself quite unready to answer--I suppose as a Slytherin I'm meant to list off such rewards as power, wealth, fame, the standard things. Not that I dismiss the desire for these things out of hand, nor am I inclined to such heartwarming fictions ( Read more... )

Thank you ever so much for your compassion and accusing glares, but no, I did not have anything to do with what happened and no, I am not in fact responsible for my benefactor's current condition. Though I'm sure many of you would be perfectly content believing that I was somehow related to the events that took place a few days ago ( Read more... )

I cannot wait to be free of this place.

Silence is ever so mature a tactic.

As delightful as Pansy's renewed ability to speak English is, her excessive enthusiasm has been rather trying today. I was sure that I'd seen the best of Madame Pomfrey's incompetence when she attempted to mend the injuries I sustained during the hippogryff attack, but now I wonder. At least when Pansy was muttering in Chinese she was tolerable ( Read more... )

Well. That was repulsive.