I just want to scream, or cry or something. I'm fucking up, there is too much happening and it's causing me to fuck up more...I need to stop fucking hiding and just fucking live.

I just can't handle this right now. I'm just unraveling, over and over again.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what I'm fighting for. Can I even blame the dashed hopes any longer? There are no goals. No expectations. Just the vague traces of things I'd thought I'd wanted, demarcating a path into a future that I no longer recognize nor want.

It's pointless. It's all pointless. The lies don't fill me up anymore.

I can't tell. The difference ( Read more... )

Why am I such shit?

I thought I was better than all this.

I just can't handle any of this.

I was always the problem, ya know?

However else you spin it.

No matter the perspective.

Regardless of the school of though.

The leniency irrelevant.

It's my fault that I continue...

That I continue.

Fuck it all

No. No.

I can't.

How do people do this.

I just feel so alone.

Edit: it's only been a month since the last post. Is this never going to go away?

I'm not a priority.

I never was.

It's crushing, absolutely crushing, and without numbing myself with calories or liquor, I just feel the weight of the emptiness. The fact that I can slip so easily back and forth these days frustrate me; never in my life have I felt this truly emotionally erratic ( Read more... )