This was a lovely take on the topic. I remember feeling this way with the first - when will I ever get pregnant?! And it only took us about 6 months, so I was panicking for no good reason! (And what is it about husbands telling people that you want to have babies?! I always found it so embarrassing if M said that - I told him, "they don't need to know that!")
It only took almost 3 years (for some people, it takes longer) but it truly felt like an eternity. There was something about the "maybe?" of every month and the feeling of failure that followed it that was just..maddening. Depressing.
But it worked (in time.)
I really appreciate you reading. And I'm not sure why husbands like to boast of such things. It kind of backfired as it lead to so many questions when I felt really low and sensitive.
But now, looking back...I remember how it felt but it seems so long ago, with my three kids running around all the time.
It was a chapter in my life I will never forget though.
I know my mother said they were married 5 years before they got me...thinking now that maybe that was part of her incentive to keep the diary, just as you kept the pregnancy journal.
Oh I shed a lot of tears. And, I haven't said that to my kids but I have thought it before, "I cried because I couldn't have kids and now I do and..(fill in the blank: They have colic, they sass me, they do bad in school, etc)
But overall, I love them and I wouldn't trade a minute. I'm sure your mother felt the same.
Mothering isn't an easy job, as you and I both know. ::hugs::
I'm so happy things worked out for you, although I'm sure a little less chaos would have been appreciated. It must have been scary to give birth with no income.
A very well-written and touching piece of writing.
I felt horrible that I had no idea how we would support this child. When we conceived him, all was going pretty good, my husband had kept a job for almost 2 years (which was good for him) and..it seemed everything was working out well.
And then it didn't.
And everyone was like, "So have you painted the nursery?" (uh, what nursery? We didn't have an extra room.) "Have you bought enough diapers? Do you have --- yet?"
It was strange because...I mean, I see now, babies don't need so much. But as an anxious first time mom, I felt that it was my job to give him every advantage from the beginning and the loss of income...it felt like I failed before he was even born.
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Really well written.
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But it worked (in time.)
I really appreciate you reading. And I'm not sure why husbands like to boast of such things. It kind of backfired as it lead to so many questions when I felt really low and sensitive.
But now, looking back...I remember how it felt but it seems so long ago, with my three kids running around all the time.
It was a chapter in my life I will never forget though.
Thanks for commenting!
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(The comment has been removed)
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I know my mother said they were married 5 years before they got me...thinking now that maybe that was part of her incentive to keep the diary, just as you kept the pregnancy journal.
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It seemed...selfish in a way, to long for a baby. There were so many other blessings in my life. Why did I long for kids so bad?
But I did.
I'm sure your mother treasured you, as I do my children.
Thanks for commenting!
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(The comment has been removed)
But overall, I love them and I wouldn't trade a minute. I'm sure your mother felt the same.
Mothering isn't an easy job, as you and I both know. ::hugs::
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A very well-written and touching piece of writing.
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And then it didn't.
And everyone was like, "So have you painted the nursery?" (uh, what nursery? We didn't have an extra room.) "Have you bought enough diapers? Do you have --- yet?"
It was strange because...I mean, I see now, babies don't need so much. But as an anxious first time mom, I felt that it was my job to give him every advantage from the beginning and the loss of income...it felt like I failed before he was even born.
But man did I ever want that baby.
Somehow it has worked (for the most part, LOL.)
I appreciate your understanding comments.
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