No...nonono. It doesn't work like that. Doing *that* feels like rape. Finding some vacuous whore and trying to feel comfort in her arms? No. Not happening. The things these screeching monkeys concern themselves with makes me sick. Just because they're equipped for my pleasure doesn't mean I can find it in them. Not unless I can accept being evil and using someone who doesn't understand what I'm doing to them.
I know I'm being stupid by being depressed about this. But it's so hard not to. So many other things are bothering me nowadays... being depressed feels like the lesser of several evils. At least it's easy.
I mean, would I rather be freaking out about how I'm failing out of school? How I feel like I need to go see a psychologist, but know that I couldn't trust them even if I did? And how if I did go see one, I'd have to ask my parents for the money, and in so doing have to explain to them just why I think I need to see one (and I can't talk to them about anything... I haven't even talked to them in three weeks and it was my
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What? Scared? Then don't kill yourself.
Oh? Can't handle that, either? THEN FUCKING PUT UP WITH IT."
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Finding some vacuous whore and trying to feel comfort in her arms? No. Not happening. The things these screeching monkeys concern themselves with makes me sick. Just because they're equipped for my pleasure doesn't mean I can find it in them. Not unless I can accept being evil and using someone who doesn't understand what I'm doing to them.
I know I'm being stupid by being depressed about this. But it's so hard not to. So many other things are bothering me nowadays... being depressed feels like the lesser of several evils. At least it's easy.
I mean, would I rather be freaking out about how I'm failing out of school? How I feel like I need to go see a psychologist, but know that I couldn't trust them even if I did? And how if I did go see one, I'd have to ask my parents for the money, and in so doing have to explain to them just why I think I need to see one (and I can't talk to them about anything... I haven't even talked to them in three weeks and it was my ( ... )
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