The Very Secret Journal of Captain Jack Sparrow
By Bardess 2004
Day 1- Have had Pearl stolen by that insufferable fop, Barbossa, and mutinous crew. Also, have completely run out of waterproof eyeliner. Am v. v. put out.
Day 2- Have managed to make it to Port Royal ‘Pain’. Have been at sea WAY too long. Am now walking as if I am gayer than a bouquet
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