fic; love notes
Title: Love notes
Pairing: RyoShige
Rating: PG
Summary: Shige receives a series of valentines from a secret admirer, but he's not quite sure what to make of them.
Author’s Note: For pearljemz and jackoweskla’s 24-hour Valentine’s Day Challenge. I like just barely made this, omg. The ending is a little lame and rushed, but oh wells. Hope you all enjoy. :)) 4511 words.
Other participants:
alissa | crystallekil | coiled_iris | joshua_glass | ky_rin | liangzhu | mousapelli | nicocoer | pastdazed | silver_rose88 | slytherisa | snowqueenofhoth | tinyangl | trivialaffair
The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.
Stephen King
The first one replaces the bookmark in one of his large law books, a small little red card in the embarrassing shape of a heart. Blinking with surprise, Shige stares at it as if he’d never seen anything quite like it before.
“Isn’t it too early to be getting valentines?” Koyama asks, noticing Shige’s bewildered expression, and the rest of NewS immediately turn to stare at Shige with a mix of surprise and interest.“It’s not until this Saturday.”
Shige shrugs, a little more than flushed. “I don’t know what it is. It was just in my book.” He drops his gaze to his law book as if it would tell him where the mysterious card came from.
“It’s definitely a valentine,” Koyama insists, nodding towards the card in question. “There’s writing on the back.”
Shige almost drops the card in his haste to turn it over. He turns an embarrassed shade of pink after finishing and quicky tries to shove the card into his pocket, but Koyama and Tegoshi lunge for it. After a quick scuffle that leaves Shige sprawled across the floor, Tegoshi jumps onto the couch in the center of the dressing room with the card held triumphantly in the air and proceeds to read the message typed perfectly across the back in precise white ink.
“There are words I was never able to say to you. It won’t take long so please listen. I love you.”
The room is enveloped in a ringing silence until Shige jumps up to snatch the card out of Tegoshi’s hand. Then Tegoshi bursts out laughing, soon followed by Koyama who gives Shige an apologetic look when he glares at him, and then the rest of the group. Shige blushes to his roots and shoves the card into his backpack.
“Shut up,” he hisses. “It’s not funny.”
“Yes, yes, it is,” Ryo insists, looking very amused. “What kind of person would give you a valentine?”
Shige chooses wisely to ignore him and instead sits down at the table to actually start work, kicking Koyama in the shin when he continues to giggle behind his hand. For the rest of the day, the members won’t let him forget about the valentine, always bringing it up teasingly in conversation and making snide remarks (on Ryo’s part) about who would give Shige a valentine in the first place. And Shige can’t forget either, a kind of sick clawing in his stomach as to who could’ve possible given him the valentine; he couldn’t deny he was curious, even pleased, but his curiosity outweighed his glee. It all just seemed like a cruel joke. Why else would he be given a valentine five days early?
The answer to that comes the next day when Shige finds yet another card in the pocket of his outfit for a photoshoot. It’s red like the first, with the same typed white writing on the back, and as Shige seems too stunned to read it, Koyama does the group the honors instead.
“If I close my eyes, you’re the one behind my eyelids. From now on, I want you to be quietly smiling beside me.” Koyama stifles laughter as he hands the card back and Shige stares at it with uncertainity for a moment before shoving it into his backpack with the other one.
“Wait,” he suddenly says, cutting across Ryo and Tegoshi’s laughter, “how did it get into this pocket?” He glances around at the others, more confused than ever.
“Maybe it’s from one of the staff,” Ryo suggests. “Like that atricious one that does your make-up. I’ve seen her looking at you.”
“Maybe it’s from you,” Shige retorts and thinks he imagines the flicker of surprise in Ryo’s eyes for the next second it’s gone and he’s slinging an arm over his shoulders and is declaring, “If you wanted one from me that badly, Shige, all you had to do was ask.”
Shige shoves him off, glowering despite the fact that he’s battling a smile (and losing). Ryo grins at him and ruffles his hair and Shige exclaims, “I just had that done!”
“Oops,” Ryo says with fake concern and a shrug. “Guess you should get it fixed. Maybe it’s the hair-stylist sending you sickening love letters.”
Shige gapes at him as the rest of the room crows with laughter. “The hair-stylist is a guy!”
“Don’t discriminate, Shige,” Ryo replies. “How do you plan to be a lawyer with such a narrow mind?”
Shige wonders whether to punch him, but then the door opens and they’re called out onto the set. Shige sighs, defeated, and follows Ryo out of the door, mutters, “I hate you,” even though it comes out completely half-hearted.
Ryo turns to him and smiles and for one horrible, horrible second, Shige forgets to breathe.
*
Shige finds the third one hidden in his guitar case the next morning. Completely baffled, he spends almost a whole minute just staring at it, the red heart-shaped piece of stock paper tucked between the fifth and seventh frets. It takes him almost three minutes to finally pull it out and flip it over and read the white words on the back.
I might tell small lies sometimes, but I’ll be thinking of you no matter the situation.
Shige drops the card and lunges for the phone to call Koyama. “I got another one,” he exclaims the second Koyama picks up and Koyama pauses for a moment as if trying to figure out what Shige is talking about before falling into laughter. Expecting it, Shige waits until he calms down to continue, “How did they get it in my guitar case?”
“Oh, it’s a step up from yesterday. This peron’s trying so hard to get your attention, Shige!” Koyama teases excitedly. “Isn’t that so cute?”
“A little creepy, actually,” Shige replies, but he can’t help the blush creeping up his neck.
“Do you have any idea who it could be?”
Shige sighs. “Not a clue. I don’t understand it at all. It’s aggravating.”
“I think you’ll find out before you know it.”
“…Do you know something?”
“What, of course not,” Koyaam says completely convincingly and Shige only grows more confused. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, I’ll call you later. Let me know if your secret admirer fesses up, okay!” And without waiting for Shige’s response, he hangs up.
Shige sighs again and picks up his new card, turning it over to read the message one more time. When that proves to do nothing but make him more annoyed, he heads to his room to stick it in the drawer of his desk along with the previous two. He stares at the three of them lying in the drawer for awhile, not sure how long he spends doing that and jumping back to reality when his phone rings.
“Hello?” he says distractedly, slamming the drawer shut.
“Are you busy? Let’s do something for lunch,” greets Ryo without preamble.
Shige rolls his eyes. “Hi, Nishikido-kun, nice to hear from you.”
“Well, are you?”
“No, I’m not busy. When and where?”
“Don’t worry about that, I’ll come get you in twenty,” Ryo replies and then promptly hangs up.
Shige suddenly feels as though bewilderment is all he’s been experiencing lately, thinking over the fact he just accepted a lunch invite with Ryo as he closes his phone. Deciding he’d never hear the end of it if he just copped out at the last minute, he quickly gets ready just in time for Ryo to knock on the door.
The instant Shige opens it, Ryo shoves his way inside, three plastic bags in his hands, and toes of his shoes. He offers Shige a smile and then heads straight for the kitchen.
“What’re you doing?” Shige asks as he follows, a sudden feeling of impending doom washing over him.
“Making lunch,” Ryo replies as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He sets the bags down on the counter and starts rifling through them.
“I thought we were going out?”
“I said let’s do something, that wasn’t let’s go out,” Ryo clarifies. “Besides, cooking is more fun.” He pauses in pulling a can out of the bag and looks up at Shige. “Or. Do you not want to?”
Shige shakes his head. “No, that’s fine.”
“Good.” Ryo grins and shoves a bag at him. “Let’s get started, then.”
Shige thinks it’s a good thing that Ryo knows what he’s doing, turning on the stove without hesitation, pulling pans and measuring spoons out from the cupboards and drawers, because Shige may be smart but cooking has never been one of his particular strong points. And Shige knew Ryo liked to cook, but he had never actually seen him do it, and it’d be a lie if he wasn’t impressed. But he thinks he could’ve lived without the yells of “You moron, you’re supposed to cut them this way,” and “No, I said hot water,” and “Oh my god, what did you do to it?” every few minutes.
Somehow, they manage to finish the preparations and Shige thinks it’s quite a job well done when he only spilled two things and cut four fingers. There’s flour in his hair from when Ryo had grinned with deviousness to outmatch Tegoshi’s and dumped it on him, and his shirt is almost completely wet from when Ryo had not so accidently tripped him, falling to the kitchen floor and spilling water from a glass over himself. Shige deals with his mess, though, for Ryo has an almost equal amount of flour in his hair from when Shige had retaliated, and is also sporting a streak of sauce across his cheek, combined with the bits all over the front of his shirt.
The kitchen is an even worse mess and they spend the next twenty minutes scrubbing it clean. The food is done, but Ryo demands to take a shower first and if Shige would be so kind to lend him a shirt (“Anything but that disgusting red one you wear all the time, though.”) and Shige slouches in the couch, waiting for Ryo to finish and laughing a little under his breath when he can hear Ryo humming loudly beneath the sounds of rushing water. He comes out without the shirt on, rubbing a towel in his hair, beads of water sliding tantilizingly over the curve of his collarbones. Shige swallows down the sudden lump in his throat and drops his gaze to his feet, hurriedly rushing by him and missing completely the amused grin across Ryo’s (suddenly gorgeous) features.
Shige takes what’s probably longer than necessary to shower and redress, spending extra time washing the flour out of his hair, and slowly pulling his on his red shirt (“That shirt isn’t disgusting, what the hell are you talking about?”). Ryo makes a face at him when he finally emerges and Shige intelligently sticks his tongue out in response. Ryo throws his towel at Shige’s face and his laugh rings pleasantly around the apartment as Shige yelps in surprise then tosses it into the hamper along with his own.
“Come on, let’s eat,” Ryo says, stopping to ruffle Shige’s hair and then makes a beeline for the kitchen.
Shige follows and sets the table as Ryo quickly warms up the pasta they had made, a little cold now after having taken the time clean and shower. It still tastes as good as it looks and Shige can’t quite rid himself of the smile on his face. Ryo looks quite pleased as well, eating as though he’d never seen food before in his life and Shige’s smile widens as he watches, dropping his gaze quickly when Ryo glances up.
He grins. “Guess you didn’t completely ruin lunch,” he teases.
Shige glares half-heartedly at him and replies, “Guess you weren’t lying about cooking afterall.”
Ryo frowns at him and Shige offers him a triumphant smile that drops the instant Ryo switches tactics and asks loudly, “Get another love letter today?”
Shige sighs and nods solemnly as if he can’t get himself to speak about it. Ryo laughs and says, “Well? What did it say?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but just another lame confession,” Shige replies, completely unaware of Ryo’s immediate frown, going back to eating. “I don’t even know what to think.”
“Aren’t you happy about them?”
“Well, yes, but, I don’t know, they’re a little weird. I just don’t have any idea who it could be from.”
Ryo sets down his fork and meets Shige’s gaze. “What’ll you do if you find out who it is?”
Shige shrugs. “Depends on who it is, I guess,” he answers, then with a grin, continues, “If it was you, for example, I’d have to question your sanity because you’re not not that sappy.”
“Hey, I could be sappy if I wanted to!” Ryo retorts and Shige laughs. “What?”
Shige shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says around a smile. “I’m getting seconds, this is really good, you know.”
Ryo actually blushes a little and quickly hands Shige his plate, barking, “Get me some, too!” just to save face. Shige only smiles wider and takes his plate and Ryo leans back in his seat and watches, his own smile forming across his lips.
*
For some strange reason, the fourth card is stuck in his street shoes after rehearsal the next day. After the initial laughter and catcalls from Tegoshi and Ryo, Yamapi takes it upon himself to read the message out loud because Shige always refuses to.
“Love is still something that’s awkward to me, but I want to give you everything in this world,” he says with exaggeration, and Shige snatches the card back with a glare.
“These are just getting more and more romantic, Shige,” Yamapi laughs, “don’t you feel so loved?”
“See, it’s true,” Massu pipes up. “Everybody loves Shige, ne.”
They all burst out laughing again and Shige turns his glare upon every single one of them, thinking some higher being must be playing a cruel, cruel joke on him. He gives the card one more glance, reading the words the strangely strike a chord in his chest, but then shakes his head profusely, ridding the thoughts and puts the card into his bag. It didn’t matter to him what the cards said; anyone could write sappy romantic words on a heart and call it honest and true and what have you. What Shige really wanted to know is who this person is and why they just couldn’t say it, why they had to play this silly game instead.
It ends up he doesn’t have to wait much longer to find out, afterall. The next day he finds another red heart-shaped note taped to the mirror in the middle of the dressing room. Before Shige can get to it, though, Ryo peels it off with an evil smirk and announces so loudly Shige thinks even KAT-TUN at the end of the hall could hear him.
“There’s definitely no longer anyone better than you, I’ve finally realized that right now. Meet me tomorrow at four in front of Disney Land.” Ryo looks up from the card and grins, “Looks like Shige’s got a Valentine’s date tomorrow, then.”
Tegoshi whistles and drops an arm over Shige’s shoulders. “Are you going?”
Shige shakes him off and picks the card out from between Ryo’s fingers. He reads the message once more to himself, then throws it into his bag. “No,” he replies and everyone looks at him with surprised eyes.
“I thought you wanted to know who this was,” Ryo says.
“I don’t care anymore. If they really cared about me, they should’ve just told me without leaving these embarrassing cards.”
“Shige,” Koyama starts but Shige just shakes his head adamantly, mind made up.
“I’m not going,” he repeats with a tone of finality. He glances around at the rest of them and says, “We’ve got a shoot to do, stop slacking.”
No one dares to argue with him after that, clearly getting the message, and they busy themselves in preparing for their shoot. Shige particularly gets straight to business and doesn’t notice one bit how the other members each cast Ryo a highly sympathetic look, nor the look of sheer disappointment etched on Ryo’s face.
*
Shige thinks he must be an insane, horrible, hypocrite, as he gets off the train and heads towards the entrance to Disney Land. He’s late for the meeting time because he couldn’t make up his damn mind, spending all of yesterday and a better part of that Saturday morning going back and forth between meeting up with his admirer or skipping entirely. In the end, confusion won out, as Shige had expected it to deep down, and he’d caught the train just before it was leaving the platform in time to make it within the next hour, figuring if his admirer really wanted to meet him, they’d wait no matter how long.
Shige glances around the area, looking for anyone he knows that might have sent the notes, but as time passes, it only gets more crowded with faces of people Shige doesn’t recognize. And then, just when he’s thinking of going home, there’s a tap on his shoulder and, with his heart hammering in his chest, turns around to find-of all people-Ryo grinning at him.
Shige lets out a sigh of dismay and says, “You’re here to laugh at me, aren’t you?”
Ryo’s eyes widen a bit and he opens his mouth to reply when Shige cuts across him with another sigh and says, “You’re going to laugh that I actually showed up despite saying I wasn’t going to, right? Well, go ahead and laugh, then. Obviously no one’s here to meet me.”
Ryo stares at him for a long moment, gaze unwavering, and it’s only until Shige shoves him a little with a frown and says, “What?” does Ryo snap out of his thoughts.
“N-Nothing,” he stammers, looks at anything besides Shige, a little flustered, a little annoyed, but Shige doesn’t seem to notice.
“You’re not laughing,” he states.
Ryo meets his gaze. “What’s there to laugh about?” he replies and before Shige can say anything, grabs his wrist and pulls him towards an empty bench out of range of the massive crowds. “I’ll wait with you,” Ryo says and Shige turns to look at him quickly, surprise in his eyes. Ryo offers Shige an amused grin. “I’m interested to see what lame, blind person has such a huge crush on you.”
“I doubt they’re here,” Shige mumbles, looking away and sighing again. “I was already an hour late and I can’t find anyone in this crowd.”
“Well,” Ryo says a few moments later, leaning back on his hands and glancing skyward. “If your admirer doesn’t show up, I guess I could go with you. Since, you know, we’re here and all.”
Shige stares at him for a second and then laughs, nudges Ryo in the ribs and teases, “Are you inadvertantly asking me out, Nishikido-kun? I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“S-Stupid,” Ryo snaps but it lacks his usual malice, and instead he flicks Shige in the forehead, smirking when Shige shoves his hand away and rubs at the skin.
They sit in a surprisingly comfortable silence after that, watching the faces of couples passing by, girls hanging onto the arms of their boyfriends who look either excited or pained to be there, everyone laughing and smiling, the air of Valentine’s obvious and clear. Every once in awhile, Shige thinks he sees the face of someone remotely familiar, but upon closer look, it ends up just being his imagination. Each passing minute only makes him more anxious, more depressed, more disappointed.
“I should’ve known,” he says glumly twenty minutes later. “This was just a cruel joke by someone. No one’s going to show up. I’m an idiot for thinking otherwise.”
Ryo turns to Shige, searches his face, and then says, “You’re not an idiot.”
Shige gives a choked, hollow laugh and with a tremendous sigh pulls himself to his feet. He smiles at Ryo, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and says, “Thanks for waiting with me, Nishikido-kun, but I think I’m going home now.”
Ryo jumps to his feet as Shige turns away and says, “Wait!” When Shige looks back at him, Ryo continues, “Why don’t we go? Like I said, we’re already here.”
Shige assesses Ryo for a moment, as if trying to determine whether the other had a hidden agenda. Finding only honesty and even a bit of concern, Shige sighs and shakes his head. “Sorry, but I’m just not in the mood,” he replies. “I-I’ll see you later, Nishikido-kun.” And without giving Ryo a chance to stop him, Shige disappears into the crowd, heading back to the station.
*
“It just wasn’t meant to be,” he tells the rest of NewS on the following Monday when they all bombard him with questions. “It was just a cruel joke and now I’m over it, okay?”
“But-” everyone except Ryo begins and Shige glares.
“Drop it,” he snaps.
“Shige,” Koyama tries and Shige opens his mouth to tell him off, but instead Ryo gets to it first.
“Just leave him alone, okay? Come on, let’s go rehearse,” Ryo says in that voice of his that dares anyone to contradict him. After giving the group a small glare, he heads out the door for the dance studio, only to pop his head back in and say, “Shige, grab my water bottle, would you? What’re you all doing, come on.”
Yamapi and Tegoshi follow behind without a word, and Massu follows shortly after. Koyama sighs, giving Shige a sad look as he pats his shoulder and heads out as well, and Shige, glad that Ryo had stopped that conversation for him, heads to Ryo’s bag to get his water bottle.
Only he can’t find it. He checks all of the side pockets, double-checks, and then unzips the main part, rifling through a few extra shirts and sweats, shoving aside toothpaste and his ipod, until he comes across something that feels strangely familiar to his fingertips. Pulling his hand out, he stares with a sickening feeling in his stomach at the red heart-shaped card that he knows all too well. He can’t believe it, why, why was the card in Ryo’s bag? Bewildered, Shige sticks his hand back inside and gropes around, coming across another few cards, all the same precise heart cut-out. None of them had anything written on them, but Shige knew they were the same as the ones he had received all last week.
His stomach twists into knots as he stares, eyes wide, at the cards. His secret admirer all this time was Ryo?
“Shige?” calls Koyama, poking his head into the room and making Shige jump. “Are you coming?”
“Y-Yeah, be right there!” Shige exclaims, glancing back into Ryo’s bag and, thankfully finding the water bottle. He shoves the cards into his own backpack, and then quickly heads to rehearsal.
*
“You knew about it, didn’t you?” Shige asks Koyama that night when he’s laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, phone in hand.
Koyama is silent for a long moment, which instantly gives him away. Shige sighs and rubs his forehead with his free hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands wearily.
“I wasn’t supposed to!” Koyama exclaims.
Shige sighs again. “I just. I can’t believe that it’s Nishikido-kun.”
“Why? Why is it so hard to believe?” Koyama prompts. “He obviously likes you a lot, Shige. He didn’t say it was all a joke, did he? He didn’t meet you at Disney to laugh at you.”
“Don’t make it sound like it’s all my fault that I rejected him! I didn’t know it was him at all until today!”
“What would you have done if you’d known?” Koyama questions. “If you’d gone to Disney and actually realized that it was Ryo-chan, what would you have done?”
Shige is quiet for a couple of tortorous minutes, unsure himself what he would have done. Would he have accepted Ryo’s sort-of-confession? Would he have rejected him? “I-I don’t know, Koyama,” he answers truthfully a moment later. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Well, either you like him or you don’t. Ryo-chan wasn’t making a joke, Shige.”
“Why couldn’t he just tell me, then?” Shige demands, now fed up. “Why this round about attempt to get my attention and then just clam up when he met me on Saturday? Why not tell the truth?”
Koyama doesn’t reply for a moment and Shige angrily chews on his bottom lip, frustrated, annoyed, yet horribly guilty. If he’d just known it was Ryo then-
Then what, exactly? He would’ve said yes? He would’ve accepted Ryo’s feelings? Did he like Ryo that way? It was Ryo, Ryo who made fun of him, Ryo who teased him, Ryo who invited himself over to make lunch, Ryo who had stayed with him, waited with him, who had been sitting right next to him the whole time and Shige had never even realized. Ryo with his smiles and laughter and snarky comments, did Shige like that Ryo? Ryo who had a hard time saying what he truly, honestly felt with words, Ryo who spoke in strange codes when it came to things like this, did Shige like that Ryo? Love that Ryo?
“K-Koyama, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later,” Shige says hurriedly and hangs up. He glances at the clock on the wall and bites his lip again, it was late, but it was either now or never and Shige wasn’t going to let this only chance go to waste.
*
Ryo looks unbelievably surprised to find Shige standing on his doorstep just after midnight and gapes, unable to even get a word out.
Shige instead, grins at him, and greets, “I’m here to question your sanity.”
Ryo blinks at him, obviously uncomprehending, and Shige rolls his eyes and shoves his way inside, closing the door and taking off his shoes. He leads the way into the sitting room, Ryo following behind, a confused look on his face that turns into one of horror when Shige produces a few blank red heart-shaped cards from his pocket.
“I found these in your bag today.”
Ryo blushes for a moment, then, predictably, gets defensive, his eyes narrowing. “Why did you-”
“It was you the whole time, wasn’t it?” Shige interrupts.
Ryo looks like he wants to disagree, but Shige stares him down and, eventually, he nods, looking both annoyed and embarrassed. “Unfortunately,” he mutters and Shige punches him in the shoulder.
“You should’ve said so.”
“You wouldn't have believed me.”
“I’m still not sure if I should now," Shige admits.
Ryo stares at him for a moment, then steps up closer. “Let me convince you, then.”
And without another word, Ryo kisses him. It’s a soft, warm kiss that lasts only a few moments, and when Ryo pulls back, Shige feels dazed, a dorky smile crossing his lips. Ryo watches him carefully, gauging his reaction with concern, but Shige can see the happiness practically glowing in his eyes.
Shige leans and breathes against Ryo’s mouth, “I think you might need to convince me some more.”
end.
note; the notes in the cards are from songs, i am not that creative.
number 1: utautai no ballad, saito kazuyoshi
number 2: 3gatsu 9ka, remioromen
number 3: kimi no omoi toki, akanishi jin (performed it, idk if it's actually his solo)
number 4: hug, dbsk
number 5: love song, yamashita tomohisa
hope you all enjoyed. :D happy valentine's day! ♥
Pairing: RyoShige
Rating: PG
Summary: Shige receives a series of valentines from a secret admirer, but he's not quite sure what to make of them.
Author’s Note: For pearljemz and jackoweskla’s 24-hour Valentine’s Day Challenge. I like just barely made this, omg. The ending is a little lame and rushed, but oh wells. Hope you all enjoy. :)) 4511 words.
Other participants:
alissa | crystallekil | coiled_iris | joshua_glass | ky_rin | liangzhu | mousapelli | nicocoer | pastdazed | silver_rose88 | slytherisa | snowqueenofhoth | tinyangl | trivialaffair
The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them.
Stephen King
The first one replaces the bookmark in one of his large law books, a small little red card in the embarrassing shape of a heart. Blinking with surprise, Shige stares at it as if he’d never seen anything quite like it before.
“Isn’t it too early to be getting valentines?” Koyama asks, noticing Shige’s bewildered expression, and the rest of NewS immediately turn to stare at Shige with a mix of surprise and interest.“It’s not until this Saturday.”
Shige shrugs, a little more than flushed. “I don’t know what it is. It was just in my book.” He drops his gaze to his law book as if it would tell him where the mysterious card came from.
“It’s definitely a valentine,” Koyama insists, nodding towards the card in question. “There’s writing on the back.”
Shige almost drops the card in his haste to turn it over. He turns an embarrassed shade of pink after finishing and quicky tries to shove the card into his pocket, but Koyama and Tegoshi lunge for it. After a quick scuffle that leaves Shige sprawled across the floor, Tegoshi jumps onto the couch in the center of the dressing room with the card held triumphantly in the air and proceeds to read the message typed perfectly across the back in precise white ink.
“There are words I was never able to say to you. It won’t take long so please listen. I love you.”
The room is enveloped in a ringing silence until Shige jumps up to snatch the card out of Tegoshi’s hand. Then Tegoshi bursts out laughing, soon followed by Koyama who gives Shige an apologetic look when he glares at him, and then the rest of the group. Shige blushes to his roots and shoves the card into his backpack.
“Shut up,” he hisses. “It’s not funny.”
“Yes, yes, it is,” Ryo insists, looking very amused. “What kind of person would give you a valentine?”
Shige chooses wisely to ignore him and instead sits down at the table to actually start work, kicking Koyama in the shin when he continues to giggle behind his hand. For the rest of the day, the members won’t let him forget about the valentine, always bringing it up teasingly in conversation and making snide remarks (on Ryo’s part) about who would give Shige a valentine in the first place. And Shige can’t forget either, a kind of sick clawing in his stomach as to who could’ve possible given him the valentine; he couldn’t deny he was curious, even pleased, but his curiosity outweighed his glee. It all just seemed like a cruel joke. Why else would he be given a valentine five days early?
The answer to that comes the next day when Shige finds yet another card in the pocket of his outfit for a photoshoot. It’s red like the first, with the same typed white writing on the back, and as Shige seems too stunned to read it, Koyama does the group the honors instead.
“If I close my eyes, you’re the one behind my eyelids. From now on, I want you to be quietly smiling beside me.” Koyama stifles laughter as he hands the card back and Shige stares at it with uncertainity for a moment before shoving it into his backpack with the other one.
“Wait,” he suddenly says, cutting across Ryo and Tegoshi’s laughter, “how did it get into this pocket?” He glances around at the others, more confused than ever.
“Maybe it’s from one of the staff,” Ryo suggests. “Like that atricious one that does your make-up. I’ve seen her looking at you.”
“Maybe it’s from you,” Shige retorts and thinks he imagines the flicker of surprise in Ryo’s eyes for the next second it’s gone and he’s slinging an arm over his shoulders and is declaring, “If you wanted one from me that badly, Shige, all you had to do was ask.”
Shige shoves him off, glowering despite the fact that he’s battling a smile (and losing). Ryo grins at him and ruffles his hair and Shige exclaims, “I just had that done!”
“Oops,” Ryo says with fake concern and a shrug. “Guess you should get it fixed. Maybe it’s the hair-stylist sending you sickening love letters.”
Shige gapes at him as the rest of the room crows with laughter. “The hair-stylist is a guy!”
“Don’t discriminate, Shige,” Ryo replies. “How do you plan to be a lawyer with such a narrow mind?”
Shige wonders whether to punch him, but then the door opens and they’re called out onto the set. Shige sighs, defeated, and follows Ryo out of the door, mutters, “I hate you,” even though it comes out completely half-hearted.
Ryo turns to him and smiles and for one horrible, horrible second, Shige forgets to breathe.
*
Shige finds the third one hidden in his guitar case the next morning. Completely baffled, he spends almost a whole minute just staring at it, the red heart-shaped piece of stock paper tucked between the fifth and seventh frets. It takes him almost three minutes to finally pull it out and flip it over and read the white words on the back.
I might tell small lies sometimes, but I’ll be thinking of you no matter the situation.
Shige drops the card and lunges for the phone to call Koyama. “I got another one,” he exclaims the second Koyama picks up and Koyama pauses for a moment as if trying to figure out what Shige is talking about before falling into laughter. Expecting it, Shige waits until he calms down to continue, “How did they get it in my guitar case?”
“Oh, it’s a step up from yesterday. This peron’s trying so hard to get your attention, Shige!” Koyama teases excitedly. “Isn’t that so cute?”
“A little creepy, actually,” Shige replies, but he can’t help the blush creeping up his neck.
“Do you have any idea who it could be?”
Shige sighs. “Not a clue. I don’t understand it at all. It’s aggravating.”
“I think you’ll find out before you know it.”
“…Do you know something?”
“What, of course not,” Koyaam says completely convincingly and Shige only grows more confused. “Anyway, I’ve got to go, I’ll call you later. Let me know if your secret admirer fesses up, okay!” And without waiting for Shige’s response, he hangs up.
Shige sighs again and picks up his new card, turning it over to read the message one more time. When that proves to do nothing but make him more annoyed, he heads to his room to stick it in the drawer of his desk along with the previous two. He stares at the three of them lying in the drawer for awhile, not sure how long he spends doing that and jumping back to reality when his phone rings.
“Hello?” he says distractedly, slamming the drawer shut.
“Are you busy? Let’s do something for lunch,” greets Ryo without preamble.
Shige rolls his eyes. “Hi, Nishikido-kun, nice to hear from you.”
“Well, are you?”
“No, I’m not busy. When and where?”
“Don’t worry about that, I’ll come get you in twenty,” Ryo replies and then promptly hangs up.
Shige suddenly feels as though bewilderment is all he’s been experiencing lately, thinking over the fact he just accepted a lunch invite with Ryo as he closes his phone. Deciding he’d never hear the end of it if he just copped out at the last minute, he quickly gets ready just in time for Ryo to knock on the door.
The instant Shige opens it, Ryo shoves his way inside, three plastic bags in his hands, and toes of his shoes. He offers Shige a smile and then heads straight for the kitchen.
“What’re you doing?” Shige asks as he follows, a sudden feeling of impending doom washing over him.
“Making lunch,” Ryo replies as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. He sets the bags down on the counter and starts rifling through them.
“I thought we were going out?”
“I said let’s do something, that wasn’t let’s go out,” Ryo clarifies. “Besides, cooking is more fun.” He pauses in pulling a can out of the bag and looks up at Shige. “Or. Do you not want to?”
Shige shakes his head. “No, that’s fine.”
“Good.” Ryo grins and shoves a bag at him. “Let’s get started, then.”
Shige thinks it’s a good thing that Ryo knows what he’s doing, turning on the stove without hesitation, pulling pans and measuring spoons out from the cupboards and drawers, because Shige may be smart but cooking has never been one of his particular strong points. And Shige knew Ryo liked to cook, but he had never actually seen him do it, and it’d be a lie if he wasn’t impressed. But he thinks he could’ve lived without the yells of “You moron, you’re supposed to cut them this way,” and “No, I said hot water,” and “Oh my god, what did you do to it?” every few minutes.
Somehow, they manage to finish the preparations and Shige thinks it’s quite a job well done when he only spilled two things and cut four fingers. There’s flour in his hair from when Ryo had grinned with deviousness to outmatch Tegoshi’s and dumped it on him, and his shirt is almost completely wet from when Ryo had not so accidently tripped him, falling to the kitchen floor and spilling water from a glass over himself. Shige deals with his mess, though, for Ryo has an almost equal amount of flour in his hair from when Shige had retaliated, and is also sporting a streak of sauce across his cheek, combined with the bits all over the front of his shirt.
The kitchen is an even worse mess and they spend the next twenty minutes scrubbing it clean. The food is done, but Ryo demands to take a shower first and if Shige would be so kind to lend him a shirt (“Anything but that disgusting red one you wear all the time, though.”) and Shige slouches in the couch, waiting for Ryo to finish and laughing a little under his breath when he can hear Ryo humming loudly beneath the sounds of rushing water. He comes out without the shirt on, rubbing a towel in his hair, beads of water sliding tantilizingly over the curve of his collarbones. Shige swallows down the sudden lump in his throat and drops his gaze to his feet, hurriedly rushing by him and missing completely the amused grin across Ryo’s (suddenly gorgeous) features.
Shige takes what’s probably longer than necessary to shower and redress, spending extra time washing the flour out of his hair, and slowly pulling his on his red shirt (“That shirt isn’t disgusting, what the hell are you talking about?”). Ryo makes a face at him when he finally emerges and Shige intelligently sticks his tongue out in response. Ryo throws his towel at Shige’s face and his laugh rings pleasantly around the apartment as Shige yelps in surprise then tosses it into the hamper along with his own.
“Come on, let’s eat,” Ryo says, stopping to ruffle Shige’s hair and then makes a beeline for the kitchen.
Shige follows and sets the table as Ryo quickly warms up the pasta they had made, a little cold now after having taken the time clean and shower. It still tastes as good as it looks and Shige can’t quite rid himself of the smile on his face. Ryo looks quite pleased as well, eating as though he’d never seen food before in his life and Shige’s smile widens as he watches, dropping his gaze quickly when Ryo glances up.
He grins. “Guess you didn’t completely ruin lunch,” he teases.
Shige glares half-heartedly at him and replies, “Guess you weren’t lying about cooking afterall.”
Ryo frowns at him and Shige offers him a triumphant smile that drops the instant Ryo switches tactics and asks loudly, “Get another love letter today?”
Shige sighs and nods solemnly as if he can’t get himself to speak about it. Ryo laughs and says, “Well? What did it say?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but just another lame confession,” Shige replies, completely unaware of Ryo’s immediate frown, going back to eating. “I don’t even know what to think.”
“Aren’t you happy about them?”
“Well, yes, but, I don’t know, they’re a little weird. I just don’t have any idea who it could be from.”
Ryo sets down his fork and meets Shige’s gaze. “What’ll you do if you find out who it is?”
Shige shrugs. “Depends on who it is, I guess,” he answers, then with a grin, continues, “If it was you, for example, I’d have to question your sanity because you’re not not that sappy.”
“Hey, I could be sappy if I wanted to!” Ryo retorts and Shige laughs. “What?”
Shige shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says around a smile. “I’m getting seconds, this is really good, you know.”
Ryo actually blushes a little and quickly hands Shige his plate, barking, “Get me some, too!” just to save face. Shige only smiles wider and takes his plate and Ryo leans back in his seat and watches, his own smile forming across his lips.
*
For some strange reason, the fourth card is stuck in his street shoes after rehearsal the next day. After the initial laughter and catcalls from Tegoshi and Ryo, Yamapi takes it upon himself to read the message out loud because Shige always refuses to.
“Love is still something that’s awkward to me, but I want to give you everything in this world,” he says with exaggeration, and Shige snatches the card back with a glare.
“These are just getting more and more romantic, Shige,” Yamapi laughs, “don’t you feel so loved?”
“See, it’s true,” Massu pipes up. “Everybody loves Shige, ne.”
They all burst out laughing again and Shige turns his glare upon every single one of them, thinking some higher being must be playing a cruel, cruel joke on him. He gives the card one more glance, reading the words the strangely strike a chord in his chest, but then shakes his head profusely, ridding the thoughts and puts the card into his bag. It didn’t matter to him what the cards said; anyone could write sappy romantic words on a heart and call it honest and true and what have you. What Shige really wanted to know is who this person is and why they just couldn’t say it, why they had to play this silly game instead.
It ends up he doesn’t have to wait much longer to find out, afterall. The next day he finds another red heart-shaped note taped to the mirror in the middle of the dressing room. Before Shige can get to it, though, Ryo peels it off with an evil smirk and announces so loudly Shige thinks even KAT-TUN at the end of the hall could hear him.
“There’s definitely no longer anyone better than you, I’ve finally realized that right now. Meet me tomorrow at four in front of Disney Land.” Ryo looks up from the card and grins, “Looks like Shige’s got a Valentine’s date tomorrow, then.”
Tegoshi whistles and drops an arm over Shige’s shoulders. “Are you going?”
Shige shakes him off and picks the card out from between Ryo’s fingers. He reads the message once more to himself, then throws it into his bag. “No,” he replies and everyone looks at him with surprised eyes.
“I thought you wanted to know who this was,” Ryo says.
“I don’t care anymore. If they really cared about me, they should’ve just told me without leaving these embarrassing cards.”
“Shige,” Koyama starts but Shige just shakes his head adamantly, mind made up.
“I’m not going,” he repeats with a tone of finality. He glances around at the rest of them and says, “We’ve got a shoot to do, stop slacking.”
No one dares to argue with him after that, clearly getting the message, and they busy themselves in preparing for their shoot. Shige particularly gets straight to business and doesn’t notice one bit how the other members each cast Ryo a highly sympathetic look, nor the look of sheer disappointment etched on Ryo’s face.
*
Shige thinks he must be an insane, horrible, hypocrite, as he gets off the train and heads towards the entrance to Disney Land. He’s late for the meeting time because he couldn’t make up his damn mind, spending all of yesterday and a better part of that Saturday morning going back and forth between meeting up with his admirer or skipping entirely. In the end, confusion won out, as Shige had expected it to deep down, and he’d caught the train just before it was leaving the platform in time to make it within the next hour, figuring if his admirer really wanted to meet him, they’d wait no matter how long.
Shige glances around the area, looking for anyone he knows that might have sent the notes, but as time passes, it only gets more crowded with faces of people Shige doesn’t recognize. And then, just when he’s thinking of going home, there’s a tap on his shoulder and, with his heart hammering in his chest, turns around to find-of all people-Ryo grinning at him.
Shige lets out a sigh of dismay and says, “You’re here to laugh at me, aren’t you?”
Ryo’s eyes widen a bit and he opens his mouth to reply when Shige cuts across him with another sigh and says, “You’re going to laugh that I actually showed up despite saying I wasn’t going to, right? Well, go ahead and laugh, then. Obviously no one’s here to meet me.”
Ryo stares at him for a long moment, gaze unwavering, and it’s only until Shige shoves him a little with a frown and says, “What?” does Ryo snap out of his thoughts.
“N-Nothing,” he stammers, looks at anything besides Shige, a little flustered, a little annoyed, but Shige doesn’t seem to notice.
“You’re not laughing,” he states.
Ryo meets his gaze. “What’s there to laugh about?” he replies and before Shige can say anything, grabs his wrist and pulls him towards an empty bench out of range of the massive crowds. “I’ll wait with you,” Ryo says and Shige turns to look at him quickly, surprise in his eyes. Ryo offers Shige an amused grin. “I’m interested to see what lame, blind person has such a huge crush on you.”
“I doubt they’re here,” Shige mumbles, looking away and sighing again. “I was already an hour late and I can’t find anyone in this crowd.”
“Well,” Ryo says a few moments later, leaning back on his hands and glancing skyward. “If your admirer doesn’t show up, I guess I could go with you. Since, you know, we’re here and all.”
Shige stares at him for a second and then laughs, nudges Ryo in the ribs and teases, “Are you inadvertantly asking me out, Nishikido-kun? I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“S-Stupid,” Ryo snaps but it lacks his usual malice, and instead he flicks Shige in the forehead, smirking when Shige shoves his hand away and rubs at the skin.
They sit in a surprisingly comfortable silence after that, watching the faces of couples passing by, girls hanging onto the arms of their boyfriends who look either excited or pained to be there, everyone laughing and smiling, the air of Valentine’s obvious and clear. Every once in awhile, Shige thinks he sees the face of someone remotely familiar, but upon closer look, it ends up just being his imagination. Each passing minute only makes him more anxious, more depressed, more disappointed.
“I should’ve known,” he says glumly twenty minutes later. “This was just a cruel joke by someone. No one’s going to show up. I’m an idiot for thinking otherwise.”
Ryo turns to Shige, searches his face, and then says, “You’re not an idiot.”
Shige gives a choked, hollow laugh and with a tremendous sigh pulls himself to his feet. He smiles at Ryo, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and says, “Thanks for waiting with me, Nishikido-kun, but I think I’m going home now.”
Ryo jumps to his feet as Shige turns away and says, “Wait!” When Shige looks back at him, Ryo continues, “Why don’t we go? Like I said, we’re already here.”
Shige assesses Ryo for a moment, as if trying to determine whether the other had a hidden agenda. Finding only honesty and even a bit of concern, Shige sighs and shakes his head. “Sorry, but I’m just not in the mood,” he replies. “I-I’ll see you later, Nishikido-kun.” And without giving Ryo a chance to stop him, Shige disappears into the crowd, heading back to the station.
*
“It just wasn’t meant to be,” he tells the rest of NewS on the following Monday when they all bombard him with questions. “It was just a cruel joke and now I’m over it, okay?”
“But-” everyone except Ryo begins and Shige glares.
“Drop it,” he snaps.
“Shige,” Koyama tries and Shige opens his mouth to tell him off, but instead Ryo gets to it first.
“Just leave him alone, okay? Come on, let’s go rehearse,” Ryo says in that voice of his that dares anyone to contradict him. After giving the group a small glare, he heads out the door for the dance studio, only to pop his head back in and say, “Shige, grab my water bottle, would you? What’re you all doing, come on.”
Yamapi and Tegoshi follow behind without a word, and Massu follows shortly after. Koyama sighs, giving Shige a sad look as he pats his shoulder and heads out as well, and Shige, glad that Ryo had stopped that conversation for him, heads to Ryo’s bag to get his water bottle.
Only he can’t find it. He checks all of the side pockets, double-checks, and then unzips the main part, rifling through a few extra shirts and sweats, shoving aside toothpaste and his ipod, until he comes across something that feels strangely familiar to his fingertips. Pulling his hand out, he stares with a sickening feeling in his stomach at the red heart-shaped card that he knows all too well. He can’t believe it, why, why was the card in Ryo’s bag? Bewildered, Shige sticks his hand back inside and gropes around, coming across another few cards, all the same precise heart cut-out. None of them had anything written on them, but Shige knew they were the same as the ones he had received all last week.
His stomach twists into knots as he stares, eyes wide, at the cards. His secret admirer all this time was Ryo?
“Shige?” calls Koyama, poking his head into the room and making Shige jump. “Are you coming?”
“Y-Yeah, be right there!” Shige exclaims, glancing back into Ryo’s bag and, thankfully finding the water bottle. He shoves the cards into his own backpack, and then quickly heads to rehearsal.
*
“You knew about it, didn’t you?” Shige asks Koyama that night when he’s laying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, phone in hand.
Koyama is silent for a long moment, which instantly gives him away. Shige sighs and rubs his forehead with his free hand. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands wearily.
“I wasn’t supposed to!” Koyama exclaims.
Shige sighs again. “I just. I can’t believe that it’s Nishikido-kun.”
“Why? Why is it so hard to believe?” Koyama prompts. “He obviously likes you a lot, Shige. He didn’t say it was all a joke, did he? He didn’t meet you at Disney to laugh at you.”
“Don’t make it sound like it’s all my fault that I rejected him! I didn’t know it was him at all until today!”
“What would you have done if you’d known?” Koyama questions. “If you’d gone to Disney and actually realized that it was Ryo-chan, what would you have done?”
Shige is quiet for a couple of tortorous minutes, unsure himself what he would have done. Would he have accepted Ryo’s sort-of-confession? Would he have rejected him? “I-I don’t know, Koyama,” he answers truthfully a moment later. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Well, either you like him or you don’t. Ryo-chan wasn’t making a joke, Shige.”
“Why couldn’t he just tell me, then?” Shige demands, now fed up. “Why this round about attempt to get my attention and then just clam up when he met me on Saturday? Why not tell the truth?”
Koyama doesn’t reply for a moment and Shige angrily chews on his bottom lip, frustrated, annoyed, yet horribly guilty. If he’d just known it was Ryo then-
Then what, exactly? He would’ve said yes? He would’ve accepted Ryo’s feelings? Did he like Ryo that way? It was Ryo, Ryo who made fun of him, Ryo who teased him, Ryo who invited himself over to make lunch, Ryo who had stayed with him, waited with him, who had been sitting right next to him the whole time and Shige had never even realized. Ryo with his smiles and laughter and snarky comments, did Shige like that Ryo? Ryo who had a hard time saying what he truly, honestly felt with words, Ryo who spoke in strange codes when it came to things like this, did Shige like that Ryo? Love that Ryo?
“K-Koyama, I have to go. I’ll talk to you later,” Shige says hurriedly and hangs up. He glances at the clock on the wall and bites his lip again, it was late, but it was either now or never and Shige wasn’t going to let this only chance go to waste.
*
Ryo looks unbelievably surprised to find Shige standing on his doorstep just after midnight and gapes, unable to even get a word out.
Shige instead, grins at him, and greets, “I’m here to question your sanity.”
Ryo blinks at him, obviously uncomprehending, and Shige rolls his eyes and shoves his way inside, closing the door and taking off his shoes. He leads the way into the sitting room, Ryo following behind, a confused look on his face that turns into one of horror when Shige produces a few blank red heart-shaped cards from his pocket.
“I found these in your bag today.”
Ryo blushes for a moment, then, predictably, gets defensive, his eyes narrowing. “Why did you-”
“It was you the whole time, wasn’t it?” Shige interrupts.
Ryo looks like he wants to disagree, but Shige stares him down and, eventually, he nods, looking both annoyed and embarrassed. “Unfortunately,” he mutters and Shige punches him in the shoulder.
“You should’ve said so.”
“You wouldn't have believed me.”
“I’m still not sure if I should now," Shige admits.
Ryo stares at him for a moment, then steps up closer. “Let me convince you, then.”
And without another word, Ryo kisses him. It’s a soft, warm kiss that lasts only a few moments, and when Ryo pulls back, Shige feels dazed, a dorky smile crossing his lips. Ryo watches him carefully, gauging his reaction with concern, but Shige can see the happiness practically glowing in his eyes.
Shige leans and breathes against Ryo’s mouth, “I think you might need to convince me some more.”
end.
note; the notes in the cards are from songs, i am not that creative.
number 1: utautai no ballad, saito kazuyoshi
number 2: 3gatsu 9ka, remioromen
number 3: kimi no omoi toki, akanishi jin (performed it, idk if it's actually his solo)
number 4: hug, dbsk
number 5: love song, yamashita tomohisa
hope you all enjoyed. :D happy valentine's day! ♥