...
I remember when I didn't talk to anyone.
I didn't connect. I didn't share. I didn't bother.
I didn't care about anyone. It was easier then.

I remember when I cared about everyone. 
Too much. Where I lost myself.
Didn't know who I was.

I am now..apparently..
enormously selfish, disinterested, self-centered..
and fake.

...I care about myself, now. 
Because ( Read more... )

 "When we long for life without difficulties,
remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds 
and diamonds are made under pressure".
~Peter Marshall

Its moments like these..
the ones where I step back and ask for something easier..
That I realize that I am not meant for a life without difficulty.
I am apparently meant for a life of complexities too.

A ( Read more... )

I cant even think of a good quote for this feeling. This heartache.

I can only seem to write without a filter and just be honest..open...and blunt.

Anthony: It pains me on a daily basis to think of you, remember you, speak your name or see a photo of you. Mainly because I'm not fully over you. I can't throw away almost two years of my life.  I can't ( Read more... )

 "Any change, even a change for the better,
is always accompanied by drawbacks and 
discomforts"
~Arnold Bennett

I don't really know what else to say
I hate to see him suffer
But its his choice to do so.
How much longer can I watch this happen?
I can only offer so much help.
I can only say so many things.
I can only express so much optimism,
until it doesn't ( Read more... )

"I would rather be able to appreciate things I cannot have 
than to have things I am not able to appreciate"
~Elbert Hubbard

Its going to sound terribly morbid,
what I'm about to say..
but I don't care how it's interpreted.

What my existence was a memory?

Would I matter then?
Would moments of 
selfishness
disappointment
anger
heartache
high expectations
( Read more... )

 "Never underestimate the power of passion"
~Eve Sawyer

I find myself to be a fairly passionate person,
when it comes to my life.
But I think that lately....
the intensity of my passion has shown through.

I seem to be almost relentless with my passionate demeanor
And I do so,
without apologies.

I feel this fire burning within me 
and an apology
would ( Read more... )

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone-
but paradoxically if we cannot trust
neither can we find love"
~Walter Anderson

Can you love someone without being able to trust them?
You can trust someone without loving them...
But can you love without trust?
Can you love without trusting them with
your past,
your fears,
your dreams,
your heart?

How ( Read more... )

"Forget fear- After all,
it will remind you of itself enough..
without you having to think about it"
~Zen quote

I never comprehended fear...
not in the same way that others do.
I simply wish that fear did not ruin people.
Didn't ruin all that is good.

You cannot succeed with the barrier of fear.
You simply hand it over.
You throw in the towel.
You fold.
And ( Read more... )

"You know you're in love when you can't sleep
because your reality has finally become
better than your dreams"
~Dr.Seuss

This weekend was amazing
I'm so incredibly tired and my dreams..
are no longer an escape
from reality.

We went to Santa Cruz,
I loved every moment of it.
There wasn't a second regretted.
I didn't want to close my eyes..
or drift into sleep..
( Read more... )

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else..
and for everthing you gain,
you lose something else..."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Had a dream the night previously
It was about my ex
It made me wonder if maybe I made a mistake
A mistake in leaving the relationship.
That maybe..
I was wrong.

There is no denying 
that there were some wonderful times ( Read more... )