three yearse ago. a won.
( Read more... )

not and never. i would rather perry than mikie, but i would only rather an older, more adult ari than all the others and everything else and else and else.
sara said i was looking skinny lately.
and tomorrow i start another fast.

today was especially hard. richie and kate came to take me out on my break and i just told them i was on a fast and they thought nothing of it. but then watching Kate eat, i love watching people eat and watching the Food Network but it was tortue. second days can be hard. it's so easy to give up and just say, "fuck it i'll start tomorrow."
but i ( Read more... )

today i was good at this thing. i let go of what i wanted and let in to what is going to happan. arms slimming down and the noticing is ultimate thinspiration. BUT. i saw my old friend from High School today, her name is Laura and she is quit anorexic. it was so great seeing her again and she was so proud of me. i love this feeling ( Read more... )

five days of fasting here i come ( Read more... )

around family. i try to say i'm fulll, i try to say i'm fasting or that i am on a diet. but i whent for almost four day and lost about four pounds. so that is nice. buti need to lern to go much faster than that and much longer than that and much better than that.
so i'm starting another four to five day fast. i have diet drinks and plenty of ciggs ( Read more... )

glad for these;

i am fasting for four days starting tomorrow morning. (right now)

i see Tori Amos at the Santa Barbara Bowl in exactly a month and thirteen days.

ovulating in about seven days (!)

moving. kind of. oddly enough.

ari getting back from Alamdar. (about two weeks.)

hmm. go life.

( Read more... )

i like distracting myself with someone i cannot have. but he has been sweet to me and i cannot help myself.
everyone notices the change. and it makes me shine. i live seeing more bone everyday. i love knowing i'm closer to what can save me.
i watch the food network a lot. i drink a lot of diet soda. and if i feel dizzy or something i have a piece ( Read more... )

tonight was crazy. because i work at Border's i had to deal with all the hardcore Harry Potter fans ( Read more... )