something has to give soon... in so many ways

i want to be able to just sit somewhere and not think about crappy, depressing things or hear stupid talk about new clothes or cute purses or even the hypocritical art of being different .... i just want someone to be REAL... why is that so damn hard to do?

i'm sorry that i was too afraid so long ago. it's all too little too late. i truly am glad you're happy. it's the belief that you'd be happier with me that i need to release. it was my fault, they were my walls, not yours ( Read more... )

i think i may have found him.. not "the one" him....but him for right now....maybe. i'm comfortable with him, he appreciates me for who i am...the wackiness, the shit in my life, the ADD ..... he challenges me, and i need to be challenged. it sucks though because he knows about my issues with the whole vulnerability thing, and it's up to me.... ( Read more... )

I haven't written in sooooo long... and it feels like there's so much to say, but not enough words to say it. which is why i enjoy making up words.... coag was a good one, in my opinion. anyways ( Read more... )

I need something real.

haven't written in a long time.... i guess for lack of time mostly.....and maybe for an abundance of frustration. i'm already sick of the superficiality of so many people here ... the complete indifference to anyone but themselves. i want something honest again, someone to be real and true. even within my christian grp of friends, are they truly ( Read more... )

one day until i go back.... into the breech..... should i be more excited? i am....semi excited..... it's just that there's so much i want to do and accomplish and become....i want to be able to get to that point and bypass all of this crap in the middle. I don't even really care about the fact that i won't be able to do jack shit this year for ( Read more... )

leaving for new york in a little less than 12 hrs. i'm so excited. and tired. but i don't think im going to be sleeping a whole lot. i think i overpacked. again. for the third time this summer. new york. the name itself sounds like a soundtrack. i love it ( Read more... )

i haven't studied, haven't even read the material. test tomorrow and i'm so far behind. ever since the 'trip' i have had absolutely no motivation. i want to talk about it so much and yet i don't know how or where or when. sometimes i feel like i have no idea how to truly communicate. communication major...great.. what a novel idea. and it's ( Read more... )

oooh the frustration ( Read more... )