What the hell am I doing?

I've had several experiences in the past few days that have reminded me to be grateful for the vast majority of my lovers, both past and present. And their goddamned hilarious families.

And if you haven't bought a plane ticket to the cackilack around the end of the year, now's a good time.

I'm listening to "Pulse" on a loop; I nearly burst into tears in conversation with both boyfriends; I fought in public with my neighbor. I couldn't smile tonight to save my life. All I want to do is have anonymous sex and snort some uppers.

Ahh, November. It's been so long I thought I could escape you.

The highlight of my day (and, in fact, of my past few weeks) is that I went shopping for fabric. I got warm tones, rich materials, and stole half of them from walmart. I will dress a set with them and then make pillows and wall coverings. I love my job ( Read more... )

I'm sitting in my pajama pants, freshly showered, hair akimbo. It has just started to rain outside, but I can only hear its million individual beats on other surfaces. It's not really rain until it hits me; right now I can only think it. I am listening to stripped down remixes of dido songs (not my usual, but i can't order bourbon on my laptop ( Read more... )

----> The rules of the meme:
1. Open a music player.
2. Go to 'all music'/'library'.
3. Hit shuffle/repeat/randomise.
4. Find photos of the first 10 artists/bands that come up [no repeats and no cheating].
5. Have people guess who the artists/bands are.

(photos deleted)

I'm listening to 764-hero and it's making me nostalgic. But it's a very displaced sort of feeling, like the puma stores in the ancient roman structures ( Read more... )

I wish I weren't working on this movie. It's fun to hang out on the porch and get high, but it's a complete bitch when we actually start filming. Next time we'll have a hundred grand, and we can have a van for my shit and i won't have to be in the damn thing. and maybe i can prepare. hopefully ( Read more... )

There are a few movies, songs, and hugs that are guaranteed to make me cry, but I've been through about all of them tonight. All while making papier mache giraffes. Such is my life.

I've been spending the evening thinking about what would happen if someone who had once been close to me died. Who I would travel the country to see one last time, even if they were cold and waxy. Who I would spend a weekend with to catch up on the last fifteen years. I guess my life is too varied for that kind of thinking ( Read more... )