017 | Video

[ebony_mask]

[Black Mask is sitting in a leather office chair, petting a kitten: a pink Siamese with gold eyes, a gray-white blotch of fur on its face, and black ears and tail. The animal curled up in his lap looks quite pleased to be there--the obvious mutual affection may be unnerving.]I lost custody of my goddamn sea monkeys, and my elf is a sex slave, so I

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[ysobritish]

...

[Liquid sits, his hands folded in his lap, in a church pew opposite the NV.]

Ah, so that's where that little womanizing stray went.

[Banana, in all her pale grey stubbornness, hops up behind him.]

Drowning it isn't a good idea. Banana would be most unhappy if the father of her children died.

[ebony_mask]

[A pause.]

Oh, damn, I thought that shit was a joke.

[ysobritish]

...

It started out that way. Didn't... quite end up that way.

[ebony_mask]

Please say no more.

[ysobritish]

Oh please, you're already intimate with my dick.

[ebony_mask]

Nothing more than numbers.

[ysobritish]

I could have sent you a picture if I knew you were that interested.

But no, I don't plan on sharing my private life with Shinji with you, sadly. You'll just have to get by on your imagination.

[ebony_mask]

[Deadpanned:]

I am feeling oh-so-bereft. Whatever shall I do.

[ysobritish]

[Just as deadpan:]

There there. You'll get over it. I know I'd have loved to add you to my little black book but sacrifices must be made for romance.

[ebony_mask]

I think I'm gonna cuddle Mr. Bojangles and cry into his fur.

Boo. Hoo.

[ysobritish]

[Liquid just bursts out laughing.]

There there- Ahahaha- you'll get over it.

"Mr. Bojangles"?

[ebony_mask]

He's not neutered.

[ysobritish]

Yes, I figured that from the pregnant cat, thanks.

[ebony_mask]

Then why are you asking?

[ysobritish]

Because I don't understand the name. [Nope, not getting it.] And it sounds entirely bizarre.

[ebony_mask]

Liquid Snake sounds entirely bizarre.