Stronger Than This (4/?) Rachel: Sheet Music
Title: Stronger than this. (4/?) Rachel: Sheet Music
Pairing: Santana/Brittany; Santana/Puck bromance
Rating: R (For Language)
Summary: Rachel’s POV a month after “Sexy”. This fic starts with some pent up Santana with multiple character POV’s and builds to battle royal.
Spoilers: Season 2: Sexy
Chapt 1: Santana - Chapt 2: Artie - Chapt 3:Puck - Chapt 4: Rachel - Chapt 5:Finn - Chapter 6: Santana - Chapter 7: Kurt
Chapter 4
Rachel: Sheet Music
Every morning, I recall an accomplishment from the previous day. Yesterday, I said hello and sang to a man on the bus corner. I’m certain he appreciated the gesture, although there were several explicatory statements muttered when I wouldn’t allow him onto the bus in the middle of the song. That may have been the greatest service of all; it would be unethical to cut ‘Le Mes’ off before the grand finale. I am certain it was my harmonized run at the end that brought the tears sparkling to his eyes.
Waking up with a smile is the key to success. Like usual, I’m awake before my alarm rings and down stairs with my orange juice ready by the door. Today, was an important day... Mr. Shue will be revealing his plans to decide the set list for nationals.
Before walking out the front door, I paused, stated my morning phrase aloud… “Confidence is key,” and then stepped into the morning sun. Taking a firm hold of the stack of music I previously placed by the door, I walked the short distance to school careful to not drop any sheet music. The stack of selections under my arm were going to wow Mr Shue. They bravely showcased my range and tone for the winning number. I was about to make my debut in New York City, after all. The city where I expect to live out the rest of my life as my Broadway career picks up.
And who knows, if Mr. Shue and I pick the right song for my solo, the socialites of Broadway might hear the luminous range of my vocals and my career could begin right away. After all, Andrea Bowen got her start at the tender age of six.
Per usual, I was the first member of New Directions in the choir room that afternoon. (20 minutes early). The door was unlocked and I went straight to the back office to lay out my sheet music. I was so wrapped in my efforts that I didn’t notice when the door opened, I didn’t notice when someone walked in, and I didn’t notice when the cabinets were opened and the red boom box was taken out. I didn’t notice anything until the music came on.
And then, glancing up, I noticed it all.
Brittany stood in the middle of the choir room, her blonde hair was down around her shoulders and lightly curled. The lights were low as she stood with a single light from the hall upon her. She looked like an angel. Instead of announcing my presence, I could not help but back into the shadows and watch her. As her timbre voice sounded, soft and gently, the music echoed beside her.
I recognized the song right away: 'Gravity," by Sara Bareilles. And though Brittany’s voice couldn’t hold a candle to mine, there was a gentle vulnerability there that I hadn’t seen before and I was entranced. The lyrics came softly.
“Something always brings me back to you,
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do,
I still feel you here till the moment I’m gone.”
I can hear her voice crack slightly in the lyrics, and it isn’t until then that I realize she may be crying. Poor Brittany, it was obvious she was sad because she hadn’t had an opportunity to sing a duet with me yet.
“You hold me without touch
You keep me without chains
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love
And not feel your rein…”
And then, I see it… My breath catches in my throat. I can’t help but feel as if I’m intruding on a private moment, but I can’t keep myself from watching. Her voice is trembling and her eyes are welling up. Her voice struggles again through a note she doesn’t hit right, but instead of giving up on the song entirely, she lets the music play. She rises to the balls of her feel and stretches out an arm.
She dances.
Brittany’s movements are lithe and fluid, it shows in her every gesture: in the way that she tilts her head and stretches up to the ceiling clear from the balls of her feet. I stood watching transfixed through the window as she arches and spins, like a leaf tumbling from a tree. The music gently plays and she is obviously crying now. I close my eyes to listen to the words, and somehow I can feel her move to them.
“Set me free’ leave me be,
I don’t wanna fall another moment in your gravity.
Here I am; let me stand… so tall,
Just the way I’m supposed to be,
But you’re onto me, and all over me.”
She reaches for someone then curls her arms inward. Watching again, I can feel her release. Through her, I feel connected to the room, to myself, to the air around me, and to the floor beneath me. I feel free and empowered and alive. She dances until I no longer need a mother; she dances until I stop missing Finn; she dances until I was only left with me.
As the music stops, a tear travels down my cheek and I walk toward her.
Oblivious to me, she hugs herself warmly spinning lightly. My voice cuts in. “Brittany.”
Startled, Brittany quickly turns on her heal to me.
“Hi,” she says. Her blue eyes are still glistening with warm tears.
“That was beautiful,” I confess.
She blushes rubbing them away and sniffles to a smile. “Thank you.”
I step forward again. “Are you okay?” She looks away a moment, searching the room for an answer. “Listen,” I say shaking my head. There was a different tact to take here. This was Brittany after all, and we didn’t know each other well enough for intense devulsions. “You don’t have to answer, but it seems to me that you have something to say to someone. Something you’d like to sing.” Her eyes connect back with mine. I was not graceful or magnificent, but I was honest. “Watching you, just now, really helped me understand some things. I’d like to help you in return.”
“I’m already better than you.”
I rolled my eyes… “Okay…” This wasn’t going anywhere. “The others are going to be here soon,” I say reaching for the radio. “I’ll just help you put this away.”
Stopping me, Brittany touches my arm, “Would you help me find a song.”
I look back to her with an expression of curiosity. Her face is soft, sincere and I nod. “What song?”
She shrugs, “I can’t seem to find one that says exactly what I’d like to say to someone.”
A large smile crosses my lips as my chin raises. “You’ve asked the perfect person, “ I say confidently. “I have a stack of selections already laid out here in the office. She brightens at that. As we walk back into the room, I can’t help but scheme on how to squeeze a few private music lessons with her. If she was going to sing one of my songs… she better do it right.