i give up. i'm not posting here anymore. it's too depressing. life is what you make of it and my life is fucking AWESOME. so if anyone has a burning desire to know i'm still alive you can check me at myspace.com/kristenlives04. i think. whatever ( Read more... )

monday was my birthday and all i did was chill with my sister and my nephew, eat methadone and valium and smoke weed and drink pabst till i puked. i'm still puking. they say methadone and any benzo combined is chemically the same in your brain as sticking a fatty needle in your arm and filling your precious veins with heroin. i think i've been ( Read more... )

i'm fucking retarded. i aborted treatment just before my birthday and christmas with these 2 guys and now they're both opting to serve our country in the us army. fuckers. so i'm thinking i'll fly up to alaska and go chop heads off fish for a couple months. or enroll in school for real this time. i'm not sure. probably alaska first. i'm ( Read more... )

i was in rehab. it didn't work. i'm still here if anyone gives a fuck.

i'm going to rehab again. my assessment is scheduled for friday the 13th. i'll get my beddate and then i'm heading to portland to lay low. if i stay in seattle i will die or catch a case before i get admitted. i love jessica. anyways ( Read more... )

i'm in love. he's beautiful. he's tall, tattooed, a badass, blonde, bluest eyes i've ever seen. 2 stab wound scars that he showed me, and i almost passed out from the hotness. he's the male equivalent of me. hot. all i think about. we hit it off from day one, we have so much fun together, he's just the shit. and he digs me too, either that ( Read more... )

wondering if this could be a manic phase.

that would suck.

i'll sleep on it.

so busy. gotta be at work at 8am and get my divorce notarized on first break and get it sent overnight on lunch break and sit in a class until 4pm and then work until 10pm and then do it all over again the next day.

not the divorce, the class/work combo pack. 14 hours of pure joy. luckily my buddies are in it with me. yay.

goodnight.

i think i will go to school to be a nurse anesthetist, then get my p.h. D in quantum physics. yep. sounds a little ambitious, but i think i found my calling. these last few months i have been forming these beliefs, these thoughts about what reality really is and what is god anyway and if we all have different brains with limitless variations in ( Read more... )

i have at least 3 differet chemical enhancers/modifiers in my body. i drove home drunk ( Read more... )