This afternoon, I stood at my ironing board bashing myself for the disorganized mess which is the interior of my home and agonizing over my failure to live the life I want to live, I became angry and finally the thought, "That's it!" blasted into my head. I work so hard, and I am tired of working for no reward! Long hours at work leave me ( Read more... )

Very early this morning I awoke to a strange sensation, as if someone were leaving my bed. It took a moment for the eerie reality to dawn that no other human was in my house. I looked down the bed. Kashmir the cat was still sound asleep at the end of the bed. I thought back to my dreams for answers and knew they were rich, but I could not ( Read more... )

I have this odd sense of melancholy today, just adolescent enough to make me want to post here and wallow in it a while. Perhaps it was listening to the Nirvana CD that arrived this week and woke up some old memories, or maybe it was selecting more CDs to be doled out to me once a month at that low-low price, and stumbling on all those artists ( Read more... )

Wow! Has it really been almost a year since I have been here? That's a sobering thought! A year at once seems long and short to me. Have I changed? Yes, of course, and no, not really. Has the world changed? Yes, of course, and no not really. Problems come and go, with different faces and wearing different clothes, but underneath, they are ( Read more... )

There is a lot of activity at Moffett Field tonight. I've heard helicopters over head all evening, and planes coming and going. I know without looking the helicopters are Blackhawks, ominous vipers hovering above us. They are scary even knowing they are my own country's, even knowing the professionalism and patriotism of my country's military, ( Read more... )

Movement! Strong desire for big bold movement! Change! DO SOMETHING!! Make a statement! Be someone ( Read more... )

A few months ago, a couple friends and I drove up to the North Bay to see some beautiful cats.   Leopards, Etc. creates presentations to introduce the public to wild cats in a effort to raise awareness of the plight of these amazing animals and to raise money to help stop their seeming inevitable extinction.  As a runner myself, I thrilled at ( Read more... )

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I am reminded, again, as I am spinning through this moment of my life, that attachment causes misery.  I can see how letting go of my desired outcome frees me from the boiling acid of dispair which eats away at my heart.  But detachment alludes me.

I relax my gaze.  I cleanse myself in holy water.  I allign myself with myself and release and ( Read more... )

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