I am once again avoiding going to bed. I know why i don't like attempting to sleep...i do it because i hate that part where i lay in bed and think. Think too hard, way too damn hard. I think about all the things im doing wrong. Or more specifically all the things im not doing at all ( Read more... )

so I made a vow not to cry anymore, and so far i've done really well with it.   since my promise, I have only cried once...I woke up crying cause i had a nightmare...but otherwise i havent cried in two months. I am very proud of myself. I've been avoiding all the things that usually hurt me and it is a healthy feeling.  I intend to keep this up.

I feel disconnected from so many people because i lack an internet connection. I only see the people who come to my house. I see colleen all the time of course, and Brandy, Mr. Josh, and brandon, and rarely the elusive Megan.  But thats it. I have no contact with anyone else. All of my wonderful friends who live out of town....Becca and rob live in ( Read more... )

OMG. I flipped off a cop. I flipped off a cop. OMG, i made an obscene gesture to an officer of the law and did not get arrested for it. woot.  Yay and wooooohhoooooo. After we remembered to breathe, Colleen and i laughed untill we couldnt breathe again. OhEmGeezus, i flipped off a fucking COP.   I can't wait to tell my dad....hes gonna be so proud ( Read more... )

so tonight we went to michaels to steal a set of shelving i happened to notice in the alley out back. we decided to then hunt and pilage behind every minimall in sarasota. we didnt find much else of worth ( Read more... )

I am cooked. I spent the past two days on the sailboat with my family. and i think i gave myself seventeen kinds of skin cancer. sunscreen would have been a great idea. i am burnt and apparently whiney. meh. But the weekend was a blast. and we went to see POTC and it was superfuntastic. wooooooho. 

I wonder if im bipolar or something?   Nah, Im just a gemini.   Im sure theres some sort of excuse for the way i seem to bounce from emotion to emotion.  One day i almost cant breathe cause im so sad then the next i spend the whole day smiling and full of self worth.    seriously, wtf ( Read more... )

I did something foolish and childish this morning. It can't be undone either. It doesn't actually harm anyone/thing...just makes me look immature.   Dont care. It was theraputic.  so if you wonder why (that is if you notice) i did it cause it made me feel better for a few moments.

Always.