ShakeSprayRepeat

[skarob]

As the sun set I shook the can one last time, hearing the ball clatter like a gunshot in the night. Still for a moment, listening for the footsteps that would spell my end but nothing. I pulled out my plan, rolling it out along the floor, cans to hold down the corners. This was gonna be it, the piece to end all my amateur tagging, no more post

Comments

[krumsara]

i love this, absolutly love it

Sara

[skarob]

cool, am glad someone does. I was really unsure bout it when i posted, but it's grown on me!

[krumsara]

Well i thought it was amazing!!! i think your writing is amazing...you have great imagery
sara

[skarob]

cheers love :D

[anonymous]

Your imagery and prose are great, but your grammar definitely leaves something to be desired.

You have some to/too confusion in there (at least once) and punctuation that is, to put it frankly, horrid. Lack of apostrophes, comma abuse, etc.

I like your style, but your basics need some polishing.

[skarob]

thanks for the feedback, crit is always welcome. My grammer is something i know i need to work on. cheers