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So after 13 days of binging and 8 lbs gained, I QUIT. Back to fasting my friends. If I even want to make it close to my goal for June 3, I have to create a whole new gameplan. Things a gonna change. I feel dirty, fat, tired, dehydrated and BAD ( Read more... ) -
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I am so mad right now I am going to burst. My head hurts, I can't sleep, I'm restless and agitated. This is unhealthy, I shouldn't let this happen but I can't seem to calm myself down? -
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I am so fucked up sexually I don't even know where to start? -
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So I've been posting to communities and obv you get reactions. But idk, I find that scary. Scary to read, scary to awnser. I mean, it makes me happy and I enjoy reading it, but social interaction is just.. I have Asperger's, so I guess it makes sense. -
Day 27 (Saturday)
Food: 2/2 Fast, so far so good ( Read more... ) -
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Day 1
- tomorrow's therapy session got cancelled
- I myself cancelled the laser treatment, and didn't make a new appointment as yet
- I had a regular coke, 2 90 cal baby cookies, 2 balisto's, a pb sandwich. And it's not gonna stop anytime soon.
- I skipped my first three hours -
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December is about to begin. The resolutions:
- Get a tan
I have a voucher for a tanning salon, so USE it for god's sake?
- Lose 11 lbs
I reallly need to kickstart my weightloss. I'm actually planning to go on a 'diet-diet' (with proteinshakes etc), the end of the month. First timer. My rents won't agree, but I'm an adult now muahahaha.
- Restart ( Read more... ) -
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I don't feel good at all. My biggest fear is that I'm a big fat liar. That I'm exaggerating this. And I think that, for a tiny bit, I am. I want to be seen, I want to be taken serious. I want people to respect my pain. Yes, I want pity.
But my fear is bigger than that. I'm so scared. -
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Bwaaah _realthin makes me sad. Not just the skinniness, but the lives portrayed in the pictures.
I realised just now that my eating is the most constant problem in my life. It's been with me forever, up and down, years and years. So why isn't it my main concern then?
I believe that is is my main concern, somewhere deep inside me.