For me, this isn't about “beauty,” or “perfection.” Those two things, they don’t exist, not really anyway.  Actually, I'll never be happy at any weight, or size. In fact, “this” is the complete opposite. Sadly, the best I can do is fight through these flames, just, to get through my days. Have I really forgotten hope, because my life before seems ( Read more... )

"Buy a blank notebook. Draw a huge heart on the cover. Don’t write anything negative in here. If you need another outlet, make a separate notebook. This one is all about love, personal growth, and getting back up. Fill it with beautiful images, reaffirming thoughts, and quotes. Write in it every day, and each day write one thing you’re grateful for ( Read more... )

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1.  But you eat! Of course they do. They have to or they would die, very quickly. It doesn’t matter if you saw your friend eating a chocolate bar two weeks ago, or they eat something at lunch every day: they can still have a serious problem. They might calorie count, purge, only eat ‘safe’ foods, restrict what they eat: but they will still eat ( Read more... )

Hi, it's me again. I have a problem. I've been overeating, then starve myself and over-exercise to compensate for my so-called 'binges.' What's my goal? To return to some kind of "normal."

Highest weight: 155 lbs.
Lowest weight: 81 lbs.
Current weight: 118 lbs.

GW#1: 110 lbs. 
GW#2: 100 lbs. 
GW#3: 93 lbs. 
UGW: I don't even know anymore.

See, I have ( Read more... )

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http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1904999,00.htmlRead more... )

Remove the filth. The filth cannot stay. I feel so heavy, so fat; absolutely worthless. I take up too much space. I am not enough, I am not enough for myself, or anyone else for that matter. I will stay empty until I feel something other than this pain. This pain swallows me whole, and eats me alive. I just want to be invisible. Why is that so hard ( Read more... )

I see a doctors visit in the near future.
My heart is bothering me, and the vision is
all wonky. This isn't cool. Fuck.

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