My own mom died in November, which makes it about half a year ago now. I still get a sudden ping on Friday nights of "time to call Mom." Can't, obviously.
Stuff will get handled, some of it by you and some of it by others. It's OK for your Dad not to have the needed skills; better of course if he can delegate to someone who *does*.
yes.. yes it does... my aunt offered to help but she doesn't want to intrude.... not sure how to broach the subject with him.. Obviously it's still pretty raw-ish....
I'm an only child. When my mother died, my dad and I kept each other propped up so that all the necessary things got done. When my father died, I had to deal with all the "family" stuff by myself. So I sympathize with you, and all I can say is, you do live through it, even though you don't think you will. And it never completely stops hurting, but eventually it does get bearable.
As long as there is even one person in the world who remembers, the beloved one is not really dead. And science teaches us that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, they can only change form. The energy that makes a person who and what they are doesn't just vanish when the physical container ceases to work; that energy is still, and always will be, part of the Universe. (Like those old TV broadcasts of Howdy Doody and I Love Lucy that are now entertaining whatever creatures may be decoding the signals, 65 light-years away...)
And remember that you have many, many friends who are thinking about you.
I kind of feel like an only child- my brother got here & then he left just as suddenly after tewlling me he would be here for a week. I feel pretty disgusted with him for leaving after 3 days when mom was obviously dying but I guess he had a valid excuse, (car rental had to be returned).... I really need him to come back & do dad duty- I need a break. Thank goodness for hospicare who provide bereavement support....
I'd venture a guess that your brother is having trouble dealing with the situation as well, and is "running away" from it to some degree. She's his mother too, of course. It may be very diffcult for him to "man up" :-(
we just called hjim & let him know- He's ok- He has his sweet gf to support him. I'm just so relieved that she didn't die on his birthday which is pretty soon :/
Comments 8
People die. It sucks.
My own mom died in November, which makes it about half a year ago now. I still get a sudden ping on Friday nights of "time to call Mom." Can't, obviously.
Stuff will get handled, some of it by you and some of it by others. It's OK for your Dad not to have the needed skills; better of course if he can delegate to someone who *does*.
Let me know if there's anything I can do.
*hugs again*,
Joel
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
I'm an only child. When my mother died, my dad and I kept each other propped up so that all the necessary things got done. When my father died, I had to deal with all the "family" stuff by myself. So I sympathize with you, and all I can say is, you do live through it, even though you don't think you will. And it never completely stops hurting, but eventually it does get bearable.
As long as there is even one person in the world who remembers, the beloved one is not really dead. And science teaches us that matter and energy cannot be created or destroyed, they can only change form. The energy that makes a person who and what they are doesn't just vanish when the physical container ceases to work; that energy is still, and always will be, part of the Universe. (Like those old TV broadcasts of Howdy Doody and I Love Lucy that are now entertaining whatever creatures may be decoding the signals, 65 light-years away...)
And remember that you have many, many friends who are thinking about you.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment