i feel like at some point over the course of this ummer i went fucking braindead. i sit at work and absolutley nothing productive leaves my body, i do absolutley nothing. i occassionally post a stupid fucking livejournal and think about what i could do. then i check some random internet things email some people and then say fuck it. im going home. ( Read more... )

i fucking hate beckett.

i didnt do anything at work on monday. stayed sober ( Read more... )

stay SOBER & healthy:
no drinking, no bar, NO booze!
no cocaine
no any other kind of drugs
only drink water and fruit in morning
earth fare for lunch
drink nano juice
take msm supplement
take vitamins
use clearskin shit
sleep at NIGht

i hate this fucking journal.
it never makes me feel better.
i wish this computer was weed.
id smoke it.

i just cried in front of my boss. not because he found out i never work. not becausei got in trouble. but because i am honestly sad to leave. we talked about my work and my success and my accomplishemnts and everything ive done and what great potential i have as a scientist it made me fucking cry. he is such a great man. a great person. like the ( Read more... )

i just found out i got a frikken 3 dollar raise at work! what the fuck is going on here. Now i want to stay here. and earn this money anyway.it only goes until 12/30 ( Read more... )

GOD DAMMIT fuck. this. this. this. fuck ( Read more... )

this is what i decided to do when i move ( Read more... )

sometimes it is. things seem so uncertain. i feel like i should leave, quick and dont say goodbye. im afraid that i wont be able to control myself as much as i need to in NY. hopefully things will be better and soon.
dear lord i need to stay sober.
FOCUS dammit FOCUS