everything i've written for the past two years has been about him! everything. about how i feel and how great he is, how much i love him, how happy he makes me. and now what do i have to say? nothing except that i feel like shit all the time. that i want to see him so badly, but i can't. that i wish we could talk, but we can't ( Read more... )

he has been in my dreams every night for the past week. the need to see him is growing so incredibly strong i honestly might break down.

summer is so close and there is a distinct taste of possibility in the air. so much more is possible in the summer! does anyone else get that feeling? i am so excited. it's like the warmth in the air dissolves the walls of my house and suddenly home is everywhere. everything is safe, comfortable. you don't have to wrap yourself up against the ( Read more... )

it's times like these when i wonder what the meaning of my life is. i am alone. i'm not doing much of anything productive. i miss my family. i miss my boyfriend. i don't know what it is that snaps and creates this loneliness. i don't know what i am looking for. i instantly jump to thinking, "he'll be here in two weeks!" but that doesn't do much ( Read more... )

“Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the ( Read more... )

god, i miss the heat.

i cannot believe i am alone in this. i have been abandoned. i don't know what to feel.

i am repeating everything. i am doing the same thing with the one that i did with him so long ago. man, i hope it doesn't end the same way.

looking at all of my old lj posts, i realize that they're all about him and that i have loved him for a very long time. i never knew it for some reason, but i definitely know it now.

Me, I cried out "God"
You dared me in the dark