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only a repeat
i still love you....cady...and i still wish i could tell you....i want you to come to my sisters wedding..i want to remember you. if cld descobe the feeling in my chest i get when i think about you..if you could feel it..that would be the best. ..............
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wow..
i rember posting here..a a little more than year ago.. saying i would post everyday. i knew i was lieing. i rember the night i decided id post. not a good one. now im sitting here..looking a at a picture of when i was 15....slightly drunk..wondering where the time went. it suck becasue i know i will have the sensation at 85 that time just flew by. ( Read more... ) -
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ven now i love you....god i hate it. i wish i could tell you...i wish you would read this...so you knew. cady...i love you. you amazing. i stuck around for so long..because i truly belive we would get back together..and stay together. i felt that we were perfect...like the yin adn yang. if two people had been created for eachother..it was us. ( Read more... ) -
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how long do you have to pay for mistakes...and watch the ones around you only flouish..who made the same or worse mistake. they just care. dont care at all......as if you never existed in thier life. two girls...both the same story...same ending...different journeys :(.. i hate them.......i love them both. if i could only turn back time...im not ( Read more... ) -
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but you know .......that shes wartching..she laughing ...shes holding her tonic like crutch...the room suddenly spinning and she walks up and ask how you are...you can smell her perfume and lay her laying naked in your arms.
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why
Why am i so alone?...i miss you -
lost...
I love you cady...ive never said it openly, but i love you. i was always afraid to say so. i still had feelings for my ex, but i always pushed her aside to be with you. and see you, talk to you spend time. i saw you on my bday before i even tlked to her. i know that might infuriate you or just hurt, i dunno..maybe it may just cause disgust or ( Read more... ) -
Losing out, losing in
So this past week, i lost someone that i will probably never speak to for awhile if ever again, but nothing will ever be the same. I have to accept there are billions of people on the earth and the loss of one to you , should matter just as much as you being lost to them. In 30 years how important will most of these people be anyway ( Read more... ) -
6:39 01/01/10
Today , or several hours ago, the decade changed. This is the third turning ive lived through, and the second i can remember. At what point are we grown up. When do we stop being kids, and become adults. When do we start to realize our own mortality ( Read more... ) -
new lines of thought
well its has been quite awhile sinse i have posted. I read some of my other posts, and thought " gee...i was such an angry random person"...but for some reason i miss that person. Do we ever grow into somthing that we are satisfied. Are we ever satisfied. Is that why belive in heaven, its an end to an endless search, a boundless journey, the ( Read more... )