I'm tired of this journal. Some of you won't be included on my next one. I'd love to make a dramatic exit with my typical opinions, insults, and verbal pyrotechnics galore, but... blah blah blah, moving on... my new lj will be scottishtongue. And my final words of wisdom...


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Wasting time until I'm no longer too hungover to get my car inspected. It's been due since November. Oops ( Read more... )

Oh, just watch how I don't talk about why I've disappeared for a month.

So I'm staying at the ocean for a week. Much like last year's shore house trip, it is very necessary for me to have alcohol and sun surging through my body. This is what I look like now:


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"Yeah, I noticed your hair is thinning a bit at the top ( Read more... )

I am from dirty genes ( Read more... )

Not too long ago, I thought "the clap" was named so because you get it from loose girls, and when they walked, their vaginas would make a clapping sound ( Read more... )

Disclaimer: The following is a painful portrayal of a mind trying to conjure a coherent creative thought, like shifting without a clutch. This disclaimer is the most interesting thing in this post ( Read more... )

What if these brand names made a joint venture? What'd they come up with ( Read more... )

Two days late, but happy 21st birthday pollytrance!

( Look at meeeee! )

I feel like such a damn hippie. I now have one of those decorative weaved blankets in my back seat. But it's because I keep getting really drunk and being unable to drive home ( Read more... )