Note! I've lost 5.6 pounds in the last five weeks. That feels great!

After a day of solitude and relaxing, I feel so much better. I worked out and my head feels clear. It's Valentine's Day, I'm single, it's gray and dreary, and that's just fine. Really.

something i just wrote on a piece of paper and taped to my desk:

loneliness can not kill me.
in fact, it can not even harm me.
it is nothing to be afraid of.

it is just an emotion,
like any other emotion,
to be paid attention to, cradled, worked with.

impermanence is the very nature of things and relationships.
this, too, will pass.

As she lay, she imagined angels, and children, with their hungry eyes, their outstretched hands and wings. Crumbled, coppery pillars. Blood from the fingertips. And the empty irises, and empty irises.

I know who I want to be.She lay there and breathed, and heard the sound, like fireflies falling through the air and dying. Bursting, slowly, like ( Read more... )

the ocean is deep. the seagulls are crying. my sadness and fear are dying,
and dying, and I am at a crossroads. i am still as earth.
but even earth will move where earthquakes shake;
and castles can arise where once were only grains of sand.

Past hurts are past hurts. There is nothing I can do to change them, so I might as well let go of them.

Might as well let go. Might as well accept.

There is nothing I can do, and that, in itself, is freeing.

I want it to be morning. Luckily for me, soon it will be.

(a very boring meeting ( Read more... )

I signed on to Facebook to wish Lief a happy birthday (it is today) and saw he's in a relationship now. It makes me feel a little twingy, a little shaky.

But I'm OK.

there is dust on my hands. from a hard day's work and the sunset rolls across the sky. i wheel wherever i turn my eyes and my iris is expanding but my body is so heavy. warm and the sky contracts. the iris is expanding and i am a whole person. i can say it at last that i have someone to take care of. little hands clenched in my hair. scalp searing ( Read more... )

Dear Universe,

Thanks for keeping me safe. Sorry for being such a grouse.

<3

Katie