I have some tragic news. I will not be able to continue writing starting ten minutes ago. I came down with a wonderful sickness that prevents me from taking anything seriously. Even myself.

Prepare the hot-dogs and coat them with vinegar because I refuse to believe the horrendous diatribe that is occurring.

I made an ungainly purchase today. I sold my brand-new bicycle for two cow udders. Now I can finally practice buddhism in peace. My jangly legs can reach to the stars and back by the time I was able to ride my bike without a horse.

Regretfully, I apologize to all the Camel I put down.

I was strolling by the liquor store today when I heard a familiar tone comming out of the window:

"TAKE THE SHEETS,
TAKE THE SHEETS,
YOU FACE MELTS LIKE--
HOT CLEATS!"

I stood, startled. How did they know I wanted a blueberry cake?

I have been away for so long. I don't know how I feel anymore. If you care to comment on my journal it will save me from self-interspection. Self-Interspection? How do I feel about that one?

Will you go with me to the Senior Promenade?

No, you have no lungs.

What if I steal some?

If you steal some, I will come and break your legs.

Fine, I'll just go with Shelby, then.

The sun is simply stealing the shine from the moon.

WHY WOULD YOU BUY AN APPLE?

You makes no logicals!

We should help the Somalians, because they are starving and need food. If we can help them, they won't fight us. They have guns and could build a raft and attack us.

2DAY I WENT 2 EAT BRAAKFAST AT BARNS AND NOBLS!!1!1 WTF DA COPS THEIR AL LOKED AT MA AND THAN STARTED SMAKNG MA WIT THEYRE MONKEY WEAPONS1!1!!1 OMG WTF LOL DMN UR MONKAY WEAPONS I START3D YELNG AT THEM!1111! OMG WTF LOL LUKILY FOR ME I HAD SOME DOUGHNUTS IN MAH HARE SO I JUST PULED TH3M OUT AND FED THEM 2 TEH PIGS!1!11 OMG LOL THAY HERPY!11!!1! WTF