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[slaughteredlove]

Im losing my mind! I feel like shit because school is so triggering! I hate it soooooo much! I feel bad cause I would like to have a friend I can talk to but I cant really talk to anyone except for jeff who is always busy. Its been really hard to stop myself from getting really fucked up on drugs because I just dont care about anything anymore.

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[slaughteredlove]

I do miss you. Ive been crying for a few days now and especially all day today in like every class almost. Every time I see you I cry or I get triggered and want to cut. And if I take the rish of talking to you I will prolly get hurt again. And Im a stubborn stupid fuck anyway. I care about much anymore. I cant sleep at night because of new horrible nightmares of drug over dosing or drowning suicide real fun and nasty shit. And that smile breaks my heart to tiny pieces. I would talk to you but I cant stand the pain and Im not sure which kils me more not talking or talking because it all hurts alot. And the Justin thing dont bullshit me he's crazy about you and you like him just as much cuz every time he calls with that fake ass sweet talk you like do cart wheels. Love is too much to handle its a double edged sword. You get cut either way. I hate it. I really just hope I die in my sleep or something to make it all go away. Or many fall asleep for like a hundred years like that guy from our english story. that would be nice. I need