all this downtime is making me crazy. i cant believe i'm actually saying this-- but i need school to start. lately i seriously feel like every time i talk, no words come out. no one hears anything i'm saying and i'm so unbelievable frustrated with... everyone? maybe. i dont even know. as much as i hate school, i crave the structure. i need a ( Read more... )

its been a while. well sunday- weds. falyn, rachel and i went camping. it was soo much fun. i've never been before. there were a lot of really funny moments, but some hard ones too. she's going. actually going. i cant even wrap my mind around it yet. i cant believe we're even discussing it. sjldkfjsl;fkjsadlf well then i came home and layed around ( Read more... )

i dont have a lot of time, but here it goes.

last night was amazing. it was senior night at java, everyone cried. i cant even imagine what its going to be like next year. basically, senior night means that after that, they are officially out of the youth group. it was sad. i spent some time with rique. nothing happened, despite what jenny may think ( Read more... )

the past couple of days have been wondeful. I saw tammy this week. went to youth group. had a stina/nicole night. all were very happy things. yesterday i worked all day, then worked out for a few hours. today i feel like i'm going to die, but it was worth it. then last night i went to get ice cream with a million other people from NYC. it was ( Read more... )

so this going to be quick because i'm stressed and really sore. i dont know why. i spent today with carolyn and emily in merrillville. we had so much fun. we went to the movies and the mall and spend ungodly ammounts of money. they make me a little nervous but i like it. falyn and i talked for like.. forever. i'm supposed to read this thing in the ( Read more... )

spend all your time waiting

for that second chance

for a break that would make it okay

there's always one reason

to feel not good enough

and it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction

oh beautiful release

memory seeps from my veins

let me be empty

and weightless and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight

This week was beyond words. I loved it. There is so much to say and i could never type everything that happened. but here it goes ( Read more... )

i'm scared.
what if this isnt worth it
what if this is worth everything
and i dont see it
i'm craving the normalcy that makes me
want to give up all together

yesterday was one of those days that just kept getting worse until i felt like i couldnt breathe. i was stressing about NYC, when falyn called me at work. she told me she had big news, and she was so excited.  i had no idea what she was about to tell me, but thank god i was next to a chair. she told me she got a call yesterday, and shes leaving for ( Read more... )

so this morning when i woke up i got this random idea to have a tye dye party for the NYC girls. so i called everyone. brandy, ash, rachel, britta, fur and johhnnnn came over. it was really really fun. i've been a little nervous lately about the trip. just like... brandy is so different i was afraid that my friends would be mean to her, or worse, ( Read more... )