And when the fuck did I make that last entry?

I should probably stop smoking.

;SDJA  HDGTha t wee dwas aweosme jesus chirst i am tirpiign balls ove rhere. i ahev no idea whats gojn g on. is houdn't be tirpping on weed should i?1/

Ohma nevrything is geting wicked lucid... what the fuck is going on outside my window ( Read more... )

I don't even know what the fuck! I come back from bathing off the southern coast of St. Barts, trippin' on acid with spider monkeys for the past two weeks and WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY PORN IT'S SOAKING WET bettie page NOOOOOOOO AND NOT IN THE FUCKING GOOD WAY IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT

I think I joined this breakdance fight club while I was out, and ( Read more... )

Good news! My next book has recently been sent out for publication, and will be out on store shelves this summer! I suggest anyone who loves good literature, or getting turned on, to read it. Yes. I am so awesome.

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Icha Icha Paradise #23

Rygar 411--a rundown tenement in a neighborhood that society forgot. A place where the dregs of society go ( Read more... )

Anybody ever watch that show 24? That one with the one lost boy, you know, David or whatever the fuck his name was? Yeah, the guy went to the school of beating people's asses and majored in wallchecking. He's gotta have Tourettes, too, cause he's talking, right, and then BAM SCREAMING ( Read more... )

A late Saint Patrick's Day recipe from me, to you

Hawaiineken

3.0 oz Vodka
5.0 oz Hawaiian Punch
2.0 oz Heineken

Directions: Serve in a highball glass and get shitfaced.

If I wake up to this goddamn computer beeping about some kid nudging me one more time, I am going to fuckstart their head.

And learn how to use proper capitalization, man. You're not rebelling against the system by not using correct grammar.

This has been your daily service announcement, brought to you by my hangover.

Yo, anyone know how to fix my computer? It won't run my Carmen Sandiego game.

I gotta find this bitch.

That twenty from the pants wasn't even real. Good to know before I try to buy hooch with it, know what I mean?

Heads up for the counterfeiter: your bills have raster lines and the microtext is illegible. That, and the bill is too floppy. You even know what you're doin'?

The more you know, kids.