LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT LIVING WITH MONKEYS. AT FIRST, I WAS A LITTLE KITTEN AND I LIVED WITH OTHER LITTLE KITTENS WHO WERE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS. THEN THE BIG MONKEY CAME AND TOOK ME. I LIVED ALL ALONE WITH HIM IN HIS HOUSE BUT HE LET ME GO OUTSIDE WHERE I GOT TO PLAY AND BE A HAPPY SLUG ( Read more... )

ONE OF THE LITTLE CATS IS URINATING ON THE MONKEYS CLOTHES! IT'S PISSING ME OFF BECAUSE A) I HAVE TO GO IN THE DIRTY, STINKY LITERBOX WHICH I SHARE WITH 5 OTHER CATS, SOME OF WHOM ACTUALLY COME IN WHEN I'M GOING AND B) IT'S GROSS -- I GO TO SIT DOWN ON THE COUCH AND GO IN WINCIE'S PEE PEE. FUCK THEM! I TELL THE LITTLE ONES NOT TO BURY THEIR POOPIES ( Read more... )

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW, THERE ARE TWO MORE CATS LIVING WITH ME. THAT'S 5 CATS TOTAL AND ALSO THERE ARE 2 MONKEYS. THE MONKEYS AREN'T SO BAD BUT THE LITTLE CATS ARE ANNOYING. ONE OF THE LITTLE ONES HOPPED ON ME YESTERDAY AND THEY CONSTANTLY STEAL MY FUCKING FOOD ( Read more... )

THE STINK-ASSED CATS ARE REALLY STARTING TO GET ON MY NERVES. I'M SITTING THERE, LOOKING OUT THE FUCKING WINDOW WHEN BANG, THE TAPPY-MORON JUMPS UP TO SNIFF ME OR SOMETHING. ::POW:: I BOP HIM ON THE HEAD AND RUN AWAY. FUCK HIM. THERE ARE THREE OF THEM IN ADDITION TO THE TWO MONKEYS. THOUGH, THE MEAN MONKEY DOES LET ME SIT ON HIS LAP.

SLUG HASN'T WRITTEN IN THIS JOURNAL IN A LONG TIME BUT I NEED TO TELL YOU WHAT THE HUMANS I LIVE WITH WENT OUT AND DID. THEY INVITED SEVERAL DISGUSTING AND ANNOYING CATS TO LIVE WITH ME. WITHOUT MY PERMISSION THAT IS. THESE CATS ARE GROSS AND ANNOYING AND HAVE HUGE FANGS AND TERRIBLE GARLIC BREATH AND I'M AFRAID THAT IF I GET TOO CLOSE I'LL GET ( Read more... )

THE HUMANS WENT OUT AGAIN LAST NIGHT AND DID NOT FEED ME BEFORE THEY LEFT. THEY TALKED ABOUT SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. I CALLED MONTEBELLO67 TO LET HIM KNOW ABOUT AMY'S PARTY BUT DISGUISED MY VOICE LIKE STOOPID OWNER, DR_WU002. HE'LL READ THIS JOURNAL AND BE EMBARRASSED BECAUSE A CAT IS MUCH SMARTER THEN HIM. I GOT HIS MONEY -- $100 ( Read more... )

THE HUMAN THAT I LIVE WITH IS FUCKING AROUND WITH ME AGAIN. HE HAD CHICKEN SOUP TONIGHT, BUT ONLY GAVE ME ONE BIT. I STARED AT THE FISH TANK AND LOOKED BORED, ALL THE WHILE HE ATE LIKE A TOTAL FUCKING HOG. HE ATE HIS CHICKEN SOUP AND ATE AND ATE AND BARELY LOOKED UP AT ME. ONLY OFFERED ME ONE PIECE OF CHICKEN. I SMELLED IT BUT DIDN'T EAT IT WHILE ( Read more... )

THIS IS MY NEW JOURNAL ON MY COMPUTER. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW ME, I'M SLUGWORTHLESS DUMB CAT, PROUD OWNER OF TWO LOUSY HUMANS, I CAN'T REMEMBER THEIR NAMES. THEY HAVE LAME LIVE JOURNALS WHICH I WILL POST LATER. THEY'RE NOT WORTH POSTING NOW BECAUSE THEY'RE IDIOTS AND YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED ( Read more... )