It's raining in my bedroom. Yes, IN my bedroom. Fuuuuuck.

This whole posting in my own journal thing just seems to take too much energy for me. At least I've been commenting and reading my friend's page here. I haven't even logged into my non-ED journal for months ( Read more... )

Fuuuuck ( Read more... )

What to do, what to do? I have three options. I could stay home with my family and watch movies, drink champagne, and undoubtedly eat a lot of crap. Or I could work, doing childcare at some fancy party where there will also be loads to eat but I'll earn some money. Or I could go into San Francisco with a friend, get wasted with his friends at ( Read more... )

I'm all weak and so shaky I can barely type this. I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't felt like this since I had a stomach flu last year. I was down to 122.5 but with the holidays I'm back up to 127.5 today. I've been eating decently lately, so this awful feeling makes no sense. I can't figure out what's wrong with my body but I feel ( Read more... )

124.5 today!! So far I've had an apple (my main food source these days) and someone asked me if I'd lost weight recently. She said, "You look really skinny- not that you weren't skinny before." *Sigh* Sometimes those comments just piss me off but today, with my ribs jutting out, I love it.

I am such a total bitch. I'm sitting in the common room of my lab, listening to other people shove nasty, fattening food into their faces and I just keep looking at their bodies and mentally shaking my head. I mean, it's not that I think anyone else should starve themselves like me but greasy noodles and brownies are not what anyone needs, let ( Read more... )

I really couldn't be in a worse mood this morning. 2 pounds. 2 fucking pounds! 126 yesterday and 128 this morning. This sucks so badly I can't even explain. I didn't even binge so what the fuck? I hate my body. I went to this seminar yesterday and there was all this food- cheese, brownies, bread, cookies, crackers but I didn't have a bite of ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm far away and floating. It's a combination of the pain haze from the first day of my period, the medicine haze, the not enough sleep haze, the sleeping at weird hours haze, and the not enough food haze. I need desperately to write my final paper and dye my hair but I'm not sure if attempting either is a good idea. I stayed up all ( Read more... )

So my ED habits get triggered by the weirdest things. My mom's comment about me being anorexic didn't do it, neither did my dad asking me why I was eating again. What did it was coming back and finding out that someone had hit my car and left a huge dent in the bumper. I just got this car as a graduation present and it's nice and it's the first ( Read more... )