travelling on this road too long .

[smallsecrets]

so i guess this is a continuation of my notebook i keep hidden under my mattress .

i don't write in it so much anymore, because now that i've got a laptop, it's easier to just type . plus im pretty much computer obsessed anyways ...

if you read, then thanks , i appreciate the support . if you don't, then it doesn't matter . i just need another place

Comments

[cinnabarpearl]

i can completely relate ton every single thing that you wrote here. but i think that now i'm past the point where i think that the way out is by starving myself...it never fucking works, god! you see one thing that you just have to have and then because you had that you need more and more and more and then afterwards before you purge, when you feel like shit. you wander why you did it because it feels like shit anyway aaaah.
so basically what i'm saying is that starving yourself never works, it never will work no matter how hard you try to persuade yourself that it will. i think that the best way is to just try to eat healthy...low calorie. so then you don't feel as tempted to binge when the chance comes along.

i'm 21, and have been 'sick' for a few years now. it breaks my heart to see that you are so fucking yound, 16! and thinking about this shit so much.

[smallsecrets]

im glad to know im not the only one .
thank you for the advice :)
i binged and purged today after (another) failed fast, and then a couple hours ago i ate a bunch of veggies and low calorie food .
i don't feel suuuper terrible about it, which is good i think .

& i know im young .
i've had it since i was 14 ... and i think i might be amenorrheic .
because i got my period (for the first time) four days before my 16th birthday .
and now, 4 months later, it hasn't reappeared .
and im still a virgin , so it's not pregnancy .
idk really .