I decided I need to write in here sometime that I am feeling very happy instead of sticking to this journal as an outlet for my moments of dispair. There are a lot of entries, especially recently, that are just really depressing. So, this entry is meant to remind myself during those hopeless moments that I do possess the ability and the emotions to ( Read more... )

I don't even know where to start this. I am SO unhappy at this moment. Here I am, on this beautiful island, crying my eyes out. I feel so alone, ashamed, full of regret for the choices that brought me back here. This has without a doubt been the WORST year of my life regarding finances, relationships, my nursing career, and my mental health. I know ( Read more... )

I had one of the best nights. Ever. Lately I have been haing a lot of stomach problems, nausea and throwing up a lot (not pregnant!) Matt has been really patient and sweet when I break plans because I don't feel good. I am pretty certain that this is psychosomatic. I have been super stressed out about money and what my next move is as far as my ( Read more... )

I spent a wonderful evening yesterday seeing my Memaw, then her sister (Auntie Em) and the family for dinner. Then it was off to Norfolk to see my amazingly wonderful boyfriend. He makes me SO happy, and a little nervous sometimes.. It's hard for me to believe someone like him could really love someone like me. Don't get me wrong, I have some ( Read more... )

So an unexpected migraine prevented the job searching, but I did manage to scoop up 7 more nursing jobs that are NOT ER and finish those applications. So now I am waiting for this excedrine to kick in so I can go and spend the evening with my awesome man!

It's SO nice to wake up and not need to puke.. I was sick the last couple days with some sort of flu. Matt came over and the poor guy rubbed my back while I hung over the toilet and layed in the bathroom floor. Today's agenda is focused on getting a job. After much thought and conversing with the bf and the rents, I decided that I am going to go ( Read more... )

Ok, so I'm still in my PJs and my hair is a wreck, but my spirits are good. My head hurts, probably because I tried to make myself sleep at 6am with some vodka. I slept for about 3 hours and I've felt like crap all day. I'm convinced that when I start getting back into work and getting out of the house, I will feel like less crap. I'm off all my ( Read more... )

Sarah Anderson, I miss you. And I am so glad I found this because it is my new inspiration.. no only is the light on in this hole, I also found a ladder down here ( Read more... )

Hmmm... I don't even know where to start. I am in such a dark hole it feels like at this moment, and I've been coming back to this hole over and over. I hate this hole.. I keep looking around for the light switch and I just can't find it, so I lay in the dark.. I can't lay still, I keep rocking with the occasional moan. Frustrated, regretful, self ( Read more... )

Although I said in the last entry that it has been a really long time since I have written, it's been another 2 years! I have been through SO much, so many emotions, so many locations! After that stupid local travel crap, I decided to whore myself out to real travel agencies. Jenna was in Corpus Christi, TX and magically, the first job I got ( Read more... )