The meaning of life is love. To love and be loved. You can't ask for anything more. Maybe an easy life to make more time for loving. To make more money to work less. In one week it feels like i am new. Anything written before this is to be totally disregarded. I am new.

this journal is fucked i need somewhere else to write my thoughts somewhere that doesnt have this huge fucking banner with all the words so fucking huge it doesn't fuck up with my thinking. Yeah. Prozac and Ritalin to keep me concentrated and to keep my emotions stable. Helps to an extent then i get tired and go through fits of crying. I'm a weak ( Read more... )

its been a while since i listened to any music. So turned off by what used to make me happy. It becomes background noise in my ears. So little passion for anything else. It feels like she's draining me sometimes... but really I'm all backed-up, and with her there, I'm able to clean all the shit out. I must say, I don't drag my feet as much anymore ( Read more... )

I love her so much it seems i would do anything for her. But do i have it all wrong? Things have been severely fading even though it shouldn't. I think I have the answer, but I don't like it. Apparently when I am always saying I love you or appearing as clingy by always making myself available it seems that she is less attracted or less interested ( Read more... )

I can't listen to only in dreams without feeling uneasy. In a way maybe me and Shannon clicked around christmas time because i didn't have any expectations of dating her, cause it wasn't a priority, it was just something that happened. And I didn't push it away, I embraced it, her, and she brought my mood up, and then when I was up I was given a ( Read more... )

All I want to do is love. I want to love myself as well as her equally the same, and not let anything in between, not a thought, not a feeling, not anyone. I will stop being afraid of pain, I need to walk on blindly without the desire to see, I must see with faith, and love with trust. I need to be free of worry, free to love without care of any ( Read more... )

changing constantly, rapid thoughts, differing emotions. I'm not limited to a life of misery. I can make the best of every moment. Exercise is my only drug. Self-contemplation and reaching goals, small or large, there's always hope. I've got a head full of metaphors and yet a lack of motivation.

This journal has changed a lot. Has become more interactive - needs some work though. Lost my sense of individuality in the confusion that being in a relationship tends to do to a stupid bipolar individual. She is perfect, I am just weak and insecure. Have found my strength in music, haven't listened to anything in a while, first time in months ( Read more... )

I find myself constantly falling through states of complete happiness, and then back down slopes of extreme negativity. The negative wave really takes you far off course, and it's hard to stear through it. It's so much easier to just drown, than to make it through. And it's all just a play in my head. Sometimes the storm is light, sometimes its ( Read more... )