Broken Vow
Broken Vow
Yunho/Jaejoong
Oneshot
Angst
PG
Summary: In order to keep the promise he made to Jaejoong, Yunho gave him up.
"I promise you, Jae, no matter what I have to do, I’ll make sure you’re happy.”
~*~
A hand reached out to snap the light switch on. The man’s gaze fell onto the ring he wore on his pinky. His hand trembled, his eyes filled, as his mind recalled the face who had given him the ring as a promise.
It was only two weeks ago (why did it seem like such a long time?) that Yunho had purposely betrayed Jaejoong with another woman. He couldn’t stand seeing him so thin, so tired, and so sad; that’s the only reason he had done what he did. But why did he feel such anguish? If he gave him up for his own sake, shouldn’t his heart and soul be happy?
Just today, he had seen Jae walking with another woman-who was she?-in a supermarket. His face was glowing-glowing in a way that he hadn’t seen in a long time. In the deepest, darkest part of his soul, he had hoped that Jaejoong would be like him, sad, depressed with the separation. But instead, it seemed like his decision to give him up had turned out for the good-yet his heart still ached with pain.
He walked inside the bedroom they had shared two weeks before. He hadn’t been able to sleep in here for the past two weeks; Jae’s scent still lingered on the pillows and linens. Just by gazing at the bed, his mind conjured up the feeling of Jae’s body pressed against his, fitting perfectly to each niche in his body. He wondered; did Jae feel the same holding a woman as when he was held by him?
Pictures, pictures of them smiling, happy, glowing with the light of love-pictures of a time long past-littered the bookshelves. Tears spilled over as he questioned himself-would Jae look the same in these pictures if the person standing next to him was a woman, not a man? His mind whispered yes while his heart and soul screamed no. He couldn’t bear to look at these pictures, not now, when Jae would never come back to his side again.
He crumpled, overcome with grief-grief he was sure would never end. He closed his eyes, pulling from his memory times of joy, times of laughter, times of tenderness, times of tears, that he was sure would never arrive for him again. His mind knew that if Jae could one day be as happy as he was back when they were first together, he knew his sorrow would ease-ease that would only last for a while. But his soul still cried, still wept at the jagged edges that will no longer be completed by Jae’s soul.
He remembered the vow Jae had given him; the vow that promised that only he, Yunho, would be able to touch him, love him, and heal him. Now that they were apart, did that promise still hold? Or did Jae now touch, love, heal, the woman he saw with him? He can’t! He promised he wouldn’t! His heart shriveled at the thought of Jae touching another woman.
He remembered how dry Jae’s eyes were when times were harsh to them. No matter how much he had gently pleaded for him to cry, to elevate the pain even slightly, his eyes had remained tearless. Even when Jae had discovered his infidelity, no tears escaped his tight control. Now, he wondered if the woman he was with had gained the privilege of seeing his tears and wiping them away. Why, Jae? Why did you never let me soothe your tears away?
As he drifted off to a fitful sleep, he asked himself: Was this truly the right thing to do?
His mind, heart, and soul whispered back to him: Yes.
Waiting Eternally
Yunho/Jaejoong
Oneshot
Angst
PG
Summary: In order to keep the promise he made to Jaejoong, Yunho gave him up.
"I promise you, Jae, no matter what I have to do, I’ll make sure you’re happy.”
~*~
A hand reached out to snap the light switch on. The man’s gaze fell onto the ring he wore on his pinky. His hand trembled, his eyes filled, as his mind recalled the face who had given him the ring as a promise.
It was only two weeks ago (why did it seem like such a long time?) that Yunho had purposely betrayed Jaejoong with another woman. He couldn’t stand seeing him so thin, so tired, and so sad; that’s the only reason he had done what he did. But why did he feel such anguish? If he gave him up for his own sake, shouldn’t his heart and soul be happy?
Just today, he had seen Jae walking with another woman-who was she?-in a supermarket. His face was glowing-glowing in a way that he hadn’t seen in a long time. In the deepest, darkest part of his soul, he had hoped that Jaejoong would be like him, sad, depressed with the separation. But instead, it seemed like his decision to give him up had turned out for the good-yet his heart still ached with pain.
He walked inside the bedroom they had shared two weeks before. He hadn’t been able to sleep in here for the past two weeks; Jae’s scent still lingered on the pillows and linens. Just by gazing at the bed, his mind conjured up the feeling of Jae’s body pressed against his, fitting perfectly to each niche in his body. He wondered; did Jae feel the same holding a woman as when he was held by him?
Pictures, pictures of them smiling, happy, glowing with the light of love-pictures of a time long past-littered the bookshelves. Tears spilled over as he questioned himself-would Jae look the same in these pictures if the person standing next to him was a woman, not a man? His mind whispered yes while his heart and soul screamed no. He couldn’t bear to look at these pictures, not now, when Jae would never come back to his side again.
He crumpled, overcome with grief-grief he was sure would never end. He closed his eyes, pulling from his memory times of joy, times of laughter, times of tenderness, times of tears, that he was sure would never arrive for him again. His mind knew that if Jae could one day be as happy as he was back when they were first together, he knew his sorrow would ease-ease that would only last for a while. But his soul still cried, still wept at the jagged edges that will no longer be completed by Jae’s soul.
He remembered the vow Jae had given him; the vow that promised that only he, Yunho, would be able to touch him, love him, and heal him. Now that they were apart, did that promise still hold? Or did Jae now touch, love, heal, the woman he saw with him? He can’t! He promised he wouldn’t! His heart shriveled at the thought of Jae touching another woman.
He remembered how dry Jae’s eyes were when times were harsh to them. No matter how much he had gently pleaded for him to cry, to elevate the pain even slightly, his eyes had remained tearless. Even when Jae had discovered his infidelity, no tears escaped his tight control. Now, he wondered if the woman he was with had gained the privilege of seeing his tears and wiping them away. Why, Jae? Why did you never let me soothe your tears away?
As he drifted off to a fitful sleep, he asked himself: Was this truly the right thing to do?
His mind, heart, and soul whispered back to him: Yes.
Waiting Eternally