For Always
For Always
Beta: hell_angel_v2
Oneshot - sequel to Holding On
Yunho/Jaejoong
Angst/Romance
G/PG
Summary:Jaejoong realizes that he will love Yunho for always, no matter what happens.
“For always, Yunho… I will love you for always.”
~*~
She had pleaded with me, again and again, until I had to give in. To be honest, I had missed the sun after going out once. I had wanted to go out again, but it was hard, as I had always associated bright, sunny days with him. Too many memories came with the sun and warm weather. He had always loved the clear days… it was just like him, his radiant, warm smile reflecting in the sunlight and blinding my eyes. I had never liked those days when he had dragged me outside to bathe in the sun. But after a while, whenever he wanted to go outside, I had gone with him willingly; I had learned to love the sun as much as he did.
So, I had gone with her to the park she wanted to go to. Thankfully, it wasn’t the park that he and I had always gone to; it was another one, one that I believe was newly built. She pulled me to the fountain in the middle and proceeded to throw a quarter inside for a wish. After she was done, she looked at me oddly; it seemed like she wanted me to ask her what she wished for. But I didn't really care; she was just a friend, so why should I ask? I wasn't the type of person who wanted to know the thoughts of someone I didn't care about deeply. So I just looked away from her expectant eyes and commented on the beauty of the park. She sighed, and moved to my side.
She smiled up at me and pulled me back to the car. She wanted to go to another park, she said. She drove the car down another road… a road that seemed familiar to me. Slowly, I realized that she was taking me to the park he and I always went to. I told her to stop, to turn around, that I didn’t want to go to another park, but she insisted on going to the park, saying that there was another fountain there that she wanted to show me. My fists clenched, knowing that nothing I could do would be able to stop her from driving there- I’ve learned over the past months how stubborn she could be.
As she pulled me towards the other fountain, I found that the familiar sight of people milling around, beautiful flowers blooming, the sounds of birds chirping slightly cheered me up; it was able to help lift me up from the desperation I felt from coming back here. I allowed a small smile to play with my lips and wondered if she knew I used to come here; maybe that was why she took me back here? I suddenly felt a surge of affection for her; she was just doing what she thought was best for me; I shouldn’t blame her for trying.
But as I lifted up my eyes to gaze at the fountain once again, I found him standing there… Why was he here? Was this fate’s way of playing tricks on me? Why did he suddenly appear when my heart had slowly begun to heal again? I couldn’t help but notice that he seemed tired. I thought he would be happy with his woman, but why was he looking so sad? I looked into his eyes and found anguish… an anguish that nearly mirrored my own when I had found him in bed with another woman. Why was there such torment in his eyes? I didn’t understand, but my traitorous heart hurt from his pain. I found my mouth opening, and I said his name for the first time in months. Yunho… I whispered.
He stepped backwards and began to run away from me. I moved to chase after him, but she held me back, curious about whom he was. Frustration streaked through me as my heart and soul cried for me to chase after him, to try to erase that look of pain in his eyes. But my mind, it calmed me down. It told me that it would be futile to chase after him. It told me that he wouldn’t want me to comfort him; he had another person now to do that job. But even though I was able to stop myself from pursuing him, I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. She didn’t know what happened to me and kept asking me what was wrong; why couldn’t she just be quiet for a while?
I covered my face with my hands and sank down to sit on the grass, leaning on the fountain, not caring that my shirt was likely to get wet. The fountain shook; why did it shake? It wasn’t until she put her arms around did I realize that it wasn’t the fountain shaking: it was me.
I struggled to stand up. My limbs seemed derived of strength; it was hard work trying to stand up. I realized something from seeing him again. I realized that even though my heart was broken, even though I knew that if he even came back to me-as if he actually would-that it would be a long time for me to accept him again, I realized that in my heart, my love for him had never disappeared. It was just hidden, scared of being rejected again. But at the sight of him, my feelings awoke again, acting like it had never disappeared. I realized that from now on, I will have to live with my love for him… even if he never spares me a glance again.
Beta: hell_angel_v2
Oneshot - sequel to Holding On
Yunho/Jaejoong
Angst/Romance
G/PG
Summary:Jaejoong realizes that he will love Yunho for always, no matter what happens.
“For always, Yunho… I will love you for always.”
~*~
She had pleaded with me, again and again, until I had to give in. To be honest, I had missed the sun after going out once. I had wanted to go out again, but it was hard, as I had always associated bright, sunny days with him. Too many memories came with the sun and warm weather. He had always loved the clear days… it was just like him, his radiant, warm smile reflecting in the sunlight and blinding my eyes. I had never liked those days when he had dragged me outside to bathe in the sun. But after a while, whenever he wanted to go outside, I had gone with him willingly; I had learned to love the sun as much as he did.
So, I had gone with her to the park she wanted to go to. Thankfully, it wasn’t the park that he and I had always gone to; it was another one, one that I believe was newly built. She pulled me to the fountain in the middle and proceeded to throw a quarter inside for a wish. After she was done, she looked at me oddly; it seemed like she wanted me to ask her what she wished for. But I didn't really care; she was just a friend, so why should I ask? I wasn't the type of person who wanted to know the thoughts of someone I didn't care about deeply. So I just looked away from her expectant eyes and commented on the beauty of the park. She sighed, and moved to my side.
She smiled up at me and pulled me back to the car. She wanted to go to another park, she said. She drove the car down another road… a road that seemed familiar to me. Slowly, I realized that she was taking me to the park he and I always went to. I told her to stop, to turn around, that I didn’t want to go to another park, but she insisted on going to the park, saying that there was another fountain there that she wanted to show me. My fists clenched, knowing that nothing I could do would be able to stop her from driving there- I’ve learned over the past months how stubborn she could be.
As she pulled me towards the other fountain, I found that the familiar sight of people milling around, beautiful flowers blooming, the sounds of birds chirping slightly cheered me up; it was able to help lift me up from the desperation I felt from coming back here. I allowed a small smile to play with my lips and wondered if she knew I used to come here; maybe that was why she took me back here? I suddenly felt a surge of affection for her; she was just doing what she thought was best for me; I shouldn’t blame her for trying.
But as I lifted up my eyes to gaze at the fountain once again, I found him standing there… Why was he here? Was this fate’s way of playing tricks on me? Why did he suddenly appear when my heart had slowly begun to heal again? I couldn’t help but notice that he seemed tired. I thought he would be happy with his woman, but why was he looking so sad? I looked into his eyes and found anguish… an anguish that nearly mirrored my own when I had found him in bed with another woman. Why was there such torment in his eyes? I didn’t understand, but my traitorous heart hurt from his pain. I found my mouth opening, and I said his name for the first time in months. Yunho… I whispered.
He stepped backwards and began to run away from me. I moved to chase after him, but she held me back, curious about whom he was. Frustration streaked through me as my heart and soul cried for me to chase after him, to try to erase that look of pain in his eyes. But my mind, it calmed me down. It told me that it would be futile to chase after him. It told me that he wouldn’t want me to comfort him; he had another person now to do that job. But even though I was able to stop myself from pursuing him, I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. She didn’t know what happened to me and kept asking me what was wrong; why couldn’t she just be quiet for a while?
I covered my face with my hands and sank down to sit on the grass, leaning on the fountain, not caring that my shirt was likely to get wet. The fountain shook; why did it shake? It wasn’t until she put her arms around did I realize that it wasn’t the fountain shaking: it was me.
I struggled to stand up. My limbs seemed derived of strength; it was hard work trying to stand up. I realized something from seeing him again. I realized that even though my heart was broken, even though I knew that if he even came back to me-as if he actually would-that it would be a long time for me to accept him again, I realized that in my heart, my love for him had never disappeared. It was just hidden, scared of being rejected again. But at the sight of him, my feelings awoke again, acting like it had never disappeared. I realized that from now on, I will have to live with my love for him… even if he never spares me a glance again.