It should be confusing, difficult, overwhelming. Instead, it simply feels right. Like all these missing gaps and pieces from this life I only barely knew were finally returned to their proper place. I'm not the same woman I was, nor am I the woman she was. I am someone entirely different, grown from both of them, and entirely healthier for it. I ( Read more... )

I never thought that would be the thing that hit me. The loss of so many, the loss of my home, my world, life, the regaining everything I ever wanted, I've made it through so much. Why feel gutted now? I don't think it's that she has something I wanted, or that they might have the chance he and I never had. I think it's the worry that I know how ( Read more... )

(OOC: Backdated about a week to the night of April 12, 2010.)

I nearly pass up the crumbling townhouse as I drive my Porsche down the less than desirable streets. It looks like just another condemned building in a row of them along this forgotten section of the city. But something pulls in me. Something that says Home. And so I let my hands turn ( Read more... )

I wanted to write it. I wanted to look back, remember it all, see it all again. I wanted to play that scene over and over and over again in my mind until I'd never forget one moment. I never wanted to forget him again. To forget what happened. I wanted to put it down in ink. But some things cannot be done. Some stories should not be told. Sometimes ( Read more... )

I looked back, I kept watching. I couldn't turn away...

"Well, gentlemen, it seems to me that we're mostly on the same page here. We all want to see an end to this bloodshed, these unnecessary hate crimes, this lack of reason, right? We're all reasonable people sitting at this table. Let's talk it through and get this done with. Maybe we can all go ( Read more... )

I have to plan another funeral. Bury another man that I love. Mourn, and grieve, and remember how to put the pieces all back together. Every time they shatter just a little bit more. I'm not certain when the day will come that they're just too small to fix. Glue and tears can only do so much. Hugo's dead. They killed him. They tried for me, but ( Read more... )

The meeting in Hamilton was somewhat strange, tense, and utterly disorganized -- as always. I knew I had to tell John the truth about us at some point in time. He deserved to know we were related, that he had a half sister, that through some whim and trick of fate, though separated all of our lives, we had been brought back together. Fate was a ( Read more... )

((This is inspired by a prompt word on the camchar  inspiration prompt list. Prompt 10: Paradise...))

The midnight sky was illuminated by the glow of the ladder before I could even make out the shape itself. Silver, blue, supernal, colours I did not think humanly existed played off of the surface which stretched to the sky. I walked closer. I had to. It ( Read more... )

(This journal was posted tuesday, March 31st, 2009 at 3:25 pm...)

I made it back in one piece. Mostly. The deal is done. Calamus has agreed to reopen his city to any Free Council whom I interview and vouch for first. The war has been called off. Everything I wanted out of this happened. I can put it in the book of successes. So why do I feel as if I ( Read more... )

I am no longer a person. The concept of body is gone. I look down and see hands. Legs. Breasts. Intellectually, I know they belong to me. I am connected to these things. These concepts. But physically, they seem in another world. All I can hear is his voice and the pounding of my own pulse in my skull. Skull. Even that doesn't feel real. It's just ( Read more... )