Chapter 2

[alliecat8]

I'm going to forgo headers from now on, because we all know we're here for Jack/Sawyer, it'll be anywhere from PG-13 to NC-17, and no spoilers past S1 because that's when canon and this 'verse parted ways. Since it's NaNo and I'm trying to crank out a couple of thousand words a day, don't hold me to very high editing standards, okay

Comments

[isis2015]

I fear the part of my brain that controls leaving decent feedback is broken, but I'm going to give it a try anyway. The language is magnificent. It's beautiful and it really builds this image in your mind, especially if you're like me and have never been to the Smokies. I may not know exactly what it looks like, but the way you've described it really gives me a good idea. I love the imagery of the house too, how things seem to want to stay broken despite attempts to fix them.

I fear for Jack's mother's presence. A lot. She has the potential to ruin things, to confuse the hell out of Jack. It also seems incredibly suspicious to me that she comes to visit a sister that she has a tense relationship with in the city Jack is now working in. I can't help but think that he intention isn't just to pop in to say hello but to cause trouble. :/ Which is no good.

This is lovely, wonderful work honey. :) You're doing an amazing job with this thing we call NaNo.

[alliecat8]

The language is magnificent.

Oh, wow, THANK YOU! *blushes furiously* The first part practically wrote itself, the words wanted to exist so badly. I just love writing about places I love. I hope I'm doing my mountains justice. Writing about them feels like I'm taking a vacation!

You are right to fear for Jack's mother's presence. At first I thought, that's too big a coincidence, for Jack's aunt to live in the same city that Sawyer is from, but then I remembered that this is a Lost spin-off, there ARE no coincidences. Everything happens for a reason. Of COURSE Sawyer is connected with everyone in Jack's background! It makes perfect Lost-sense. ;)

Thank you so much for the support and encouragement. This NaNo thing is hard and I'm a little behind, but with praise like this I won't get discouraged. ♥

[gottalovev]

what a wonderful chapter! =D

like I told you the other day, I love the fact that I can see what you write, every shift in the light, and that really gets to me.

the house has a character, and that's just lovely. how sawyer it is for him to want to fix it all by himself, I love it. the stroll around the old church is a good idea too, those places have such an atmosphere.

keep going, because it's fabulous!

[alliecat8]

Oh, you are too kind! *smooches you* I love it that you can see what I write, because I know how affected you are by color and vivid images, so I'm glad you think I've captured that. It means a lot coming from you.

The house is real, though I've never been inside. I picked it out for Sawyer on a trip to the Smokies last year. The church is real, too, though in RL it's not abandoned. My dad is buried in that graveyard, and someday I will be, too. The "Tweed" in Tweed's Chapel is one of my ancestors. Write what you know, right? ;)

Thank you so much for reading. *loves*

[sassafras224]

Oh, my GOD, Allie, this is beautiful. I love the wording; the way you balance all the description with just the right amount of thought and action. The reader is able to "see" what you're writing about, yet they remain engaged in the character enough that it doesn't it doesn't drag out or get boring.

I especially love all the little details that show how much you "get" Jack and Sawyer's characters. Like this part:

"He thinks that Sawyer might believe. He thinks that Sawyer might have his deep personal issues with the Almighty, but he believes He exists. Jack still calls himself an atheist but at times like this he can feel himself waver, just a little."

Also this:

"Sawyer’s parents, he thinks, remembering the terse admission Sawyer had made when he’d asked Sawyer if he had family in Tennessee. Murder. Suicide. And here they are, in an abandoned cemetery, their graves untended. He wonders if Sawyer ever comes here. He suspects that the answer is no

[alliecat8]

Oh wow, thank you! I'm so flattered you liked it! Feedback on this 'verse means so much to me because the subject (both the location and the boys, heh) is so close to my heart.

It also means a lot that you liked the characterizations. I don't plan those out, I just write what comes to me in the moment, and sometimes it fits and sometimes it doesn't. I really, really appreciate the help that you and others gave me on the Jack-characterization, and after hearing your wise thoughts I've decided to change that line. I don't think Jack always speaks his mind, and I see what you're saying about how that's reflected in this chapter. Sometimes it's good to listen to that little voice of doubt that tells you there's just something "off" in a characterization. So THANK YOU for your help.

And thank you for reading! *hugs*

[eponine119]

Oh, you do love your mountains, don't you? It's fabulous.

I think I liked the part in the cemetery the best. Maybe just because I'm a cemetery freak.

I like what you're setting up here at the end, I think...facing Jack's family. Looking forward to more.

[alliecat8]

Thank you for loving the cemetery best! I was dying to write that part, no pun intended! I love cemeteries. Love love love. I know where we'll be spending a lot of our time in N.O. :)

Ooh, after writing stuff the last couple of days, I hate Jack's mom worse than Jack's dad. Poor Jack.

NaNo's hard, but so, so satisfying. Thank you for this.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥