This is the last chapter before vacation. After this, I'll be posting a chapter every few days because there are 11 more to go and I want to be done by Christmas.
Dude, W.T.F. You give us THIS and then you LEAVE??? Not cool. Although I really do hope that you have a wonderful vacation. And I am only guilt-tripping you because I love your story, so that makes it okay, right
( ... )
Eek, I'm scared of Jack's mom, so I'll make sure and have a great trip. ;) I already am, so I think I'm safe!
Sorry I left things in such a dark place. Those poor boys still have so much work to do, don't they? But love conquers all, right? Even evil mothers. Hopefully. ;)
Thanks for staying with this even through the hard parts. ♥
Does love conquer evil writers?dikelaDecember 7 2006, 15:54:21 UTC
Really and truly, if I didn't LOVE your stories, I don't know what I would have done. In fact, I don't know what I CAN do. ...I guess, I just have to wait for the next chapters. I just looked through the story for now, but I saved it and I am going to read it at home where I can cry all I want. Is your vacation very long? I hope not, it is the 7th already. Please update soon and Best wishes. Elena
Re: Does love conquer evil writers?alliecat8December 7 2006, 19:05:46 UTC
Sorry I made you cry? And yes, I can safely say that love DOES conquer evil writers...eventually. ;) I'm back from vacation and will post another chapter later this afternoon!
I should feel sorry for Jack, falling in love and getting dumped, and I do, but not the way I feel bad for Sawyer. Not just because I understand and can empathize with every single thing he says, but because he's so calm and clear-eyed about it, and right.
And yet there's this tiny glimmer inside of me that's thinking, he's breaking up with Jack so Jack won't find out, but at the same time, he's *telling* Jack. Not about Margo, but about everything else Sawyer fears Jack learning. So when (note: WHEN) they get back together, they're going to be so much stronger.
Voila, your wish is my command. I was posting Chap. 7 as you were posting your comment!
Poor Jack, getting blindsided ;like that, but POOR Sawyer. He was forced to tell Jack everything (well, almost everything) he's ashamed of. To have Jack see him in that light must just devastate him. And yet what else could he do; Jack had stubbornly made up his mind to stick around through thick and thin. Sawyer just couldn't keep up the pretense, thanks to Margo...and he protected Jack's relationship with her anyway.
Sawyer doesn't believe that Jack can accept the real Sawyer. And Jack is pretty judgmental. It's a tough situation, all right. Just keep reading, please, and see where it goes! :)
I knew this chapter would be worse - but I didn't know how much worse. I didn't know it would hit so close to home.
Sawyer looks up at him, and his eyes are dead..."Everything was fine this morning. It was better than fine last night. What happened?"
How could you know? If you had been a fly on my wall 7 years ago come January 3, you couldn't have written a more accurate scene of my own life. I know than eyes can turn to dead in a moment. I know what it looks like to see a wall where your lovers eyes had been. *sigh*
You've written the nuances of the breaking of hearts so well, if that makes any sense, including all of the little physical clues that say "I love you" while the words are saying "I don't." The next two passages are ones I just have to repeat, because they are so beautifully stated and because they are so telling of the dynamic:
He puts his hand on Jack’s chest, just over his heart. “I’m gonna tell you something, and I’m going to tell you while I’m touching you, and you’re gonna feel that I’m telling you the
( ... )
I am such a LOSER!alliecat8December 29 2006, 00:32:04 UTC
How did I neglect to thank you for this? I got fb on this chapter today and when I looked at the comments I saw this, which I hugged and cuddled happily when I got it, and saw that I never told you so! *slaps self* It does not mean that I didn't appreciate it, it means my scatterbrains have reached new heights. I'm so sorry!
I'm sorry this was such a tough chapter to read. The only reason I could write it is because I knew it'd be okay in the end. I'm glad you think that although it hurts, it hurts good. That was what I was aiming for; I didn't want to break ANY hearts forever, not our boys' or any of ours!
I don't know if you'll even get this. I'm thinking of you and your computer problems and sending you all the good luck and good vibes in the world. I hope it's something simple that can be fixed quickly (and might already have been; I'm in Nashville and not able to keep up with things very well right now). I hope you get all the *HUGS* I'm sending your way!
Re: I am such a LOSER!jenthegypsyDecember 29 2006, 03:26:44 UTC
Hee! You are in N'ville with the UK and Clemson footballers!!! Not only do I now live in the town of Big Blue, I lived in the land of the Tigers when my son was born - but I still bleed Orange, baby!
Not to worry about the reply! I'm still catching up on the comments, and the dang computer business and 4 days of death-bed illness haven't helped. But the computer is fine now and I've been up and about for the first time since Christmas Eve today (except for that panic-laden run to the library a couple of blocks from here yesterday morning, when I discovered I was ALONE!) Will have to return to work tomorrow, but that is OK too. I'm feeling guilty for being at home so long without having the energy to clean!
Best of luck to the girl-child and her squad...and to Clemson! (shhhhh!)
Yep. Ow. You can just see the conflict in Sawyer, see him not wanting to do this but knowing that he has to. And when Jack first comes home, when he knows something's wrong but he doesn't know what it is. And I love that his first reaction was to blame his mother, yay for Jack, at least he's got something about him and he can see she's not an angel. I just wish Sawyer could have told the truth then but he was still stuck, it wouldn't have worked, I'm sure.
But then he did tell the truth, when he told Jack to go and told him why it wouldn't work, he didn't lie at all, he actually finally let Jack in, but that just makes it even sadder because it shows that Sawyer really believes everything he's saying, no matter how he's pushed it out of his mind before. At least part of him really believes that Jack is better off without him and I think that breaks my heart more than anything. I kind of wish he had to make something up to get rid of Jack but he didn't and I think that shows how frail their relationship was under the surface, how they
( ... )
I'm kinda disgusted with myself right now; I feel the way that Jack looks in that icon. I loved and appreciated this fb so much, how could I possibly have neglected to thank you? And not just this comment, but at least one other! I'm gonna go back through every chapter and make sure I correct any other gaffes I might have made immediately! Forgive me, please?
I agree with what you said about how frail their relationship was, had always been, because of the secrets between them. They had so much work ahead of them at this point. And I think the old Sawyer *would* have just made something up, but the new Sawyer believed that Jack had enough feelings for him that showing him the man he'd been would be the ONLY thing that would drive him away and, in Sawyer's mind, keep Jack safe. From Sawyer, and from his own mother. Oh, our poor boys and their messed up minds.
I'm sorry again for *my* messed up mind, and for not thanking you sooner. THANK YOU!!!!! You are so amazing, thank you for every single word you've said.
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Sorry I left things in such a dark place. Those poor boys still have so much work to do, don't they? But love conquers all, right? Even evil mothers. Hopefully. ;)
Thanks for staying with this even through the hard parts. ♥
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...I guess, I just have to wait for the next chapters.
I just looked through the story for now, but I saved it and I am going to read it at home where I can cry all I want.
Is your vacation very long? I hope not, it is the 7th already.
Please update soon and Best wishes.
Elena
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I should feel sorry for Jack, falling in love and getting dumped, and I do, but not the way I feel bad for Sawyer. Not just because I understand and can empathize with every single thing he says, but because he's so calm and clear-eyed about it, and right.
And yet there's this tiny glimmer inside of me that's thinking, he's breaking up with Jack so Jack won't find out, but at the same time, he's *telling* Jack. Not about Margo, but about everything else Sawyer fears Jack learning. So when (note: WHEN) they get back together, they're going to be so much stronger.
More, please.
Reply
Poor Jack, getting blindsided ;like that, but POOR Sawyer. He was forced to tell Jack everything (well, almost everything) he's ashamed of. To have Jack see him in that light must just devastate him. And yet what else could he do; Jack had stubbornly made up his mind to stick around through thick and thin. Sawyer just couldn't keep up the pretense, thanks to Margo...and he protected Jack's relationship with her anyway.
Sawyer doesn't believe that Jack can accept the real Sawyer. And Jack is pretty judgmental. It's a tough situation, all right. Just keep reading, please, and see where it goes! :)
Reply
Sawyer looks up at him, and his eyes are dead..."Everything was fine this morning. It was better than fine last night. What happened?"
How could you know? If you had been a fly on my wall 7 years ago come January 3, you couldn't have written a more accurate scene of my own life. I know than eyes can turn to dead in a moment. I know what it looks like to see a wall where your lovers eyes had been. *sigh*
You've written the nuances of the breaking of hearts so well, if that makes any sense, including all of the little physical clues that say "I love you" while the words are saying "I don't." The next two passages are ones I just have to repeat, because they are so beautifully stated and because they are so telling of the dynamic:
He puts his hand on Jack’s chest, just over his heart. “I’m gonna tell you something, and I’m going to tell you while I’m touching you, and you’re gonna feel that I’m telling you the ( ... )
Reply
I'm sorry this was such a tough chapter to read. The only reason I could write it is because I knew it'd be okay in the end. I'm glad you think that although it hurts, it hurts good. That was what I was aiming for; I didn't want to break ANY hearts forever, not our boys' or any of ours!
I don't know if you'll even get this. I'm thinking of you and your computer problems and sending you all the good luck and good vibes in the world. I hope it's something simple that can be fixed quickly (and might already have been; I'm in Nashville and not able to keep up with things very well right now). I hope you get all the *HUGS* I'm sending your way!
Reply
Not to worry about the reply! I'm still catching up on the comments, and the dang computer business and 4 days of death-bed illness haven't helped. But the computer is fine now and I've been up and about for the first time since Christmas Eve today (except for that panic-laden run to the library a couple of blocks from here yesterday morning, when I discovered I was ALONE!) Will have to return to work tomorrow, but that is OK too. I'm feeling guilty for being at home so long without having the energy to clean!
Best of luck to the girl-child and her squad...and to Clemson! (shhhhh!)
Reply
But then he did tell the truth, when he told Jack to go and told him why it wouldn't work, he didn't lie at all, he actually finally let Jack in, but that just makes it even sadder because it shows that Sawyer really believes everything he's saying, no matter how he's pushed it out of his mind before. At least part of him really believes that Jack is better off without him and I think that breaks my heart more than anything. I kind of wish he had to make something up to get rid of Jack but he didn't and I think that shows how frail their relationship was under the surface, how they ( ... )
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I agree with what you said about how frail their relationship was, had always been, because of the secrets between them. They had so much work ahead of them at this point. And I think the old Sawyer *would* have just made something up, but the new Sawyer believed that Jack had enough feelings for him that showing him the man he'd been would be the ONLY thing that would drive him away and, in Sawyer's mind, keep Jack safe. From Sawyer, and from his own mother. Oh, our poor boys and their messed up minds.
I'm sorry again for *my* messed up mind, and for not thanking you sooner. THANK YOU!!!!! You are so amazing, thank you for every single word you've said.
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