I tell myself over and over again to stay out of business that is not my own, but ehn I figure, this kind of is my business. Because this whole journal is about Jess, and I love her to pieces. You're acting mighty arrogent and stalker-y towards her. I have nothing against you, I'm looking out for her well being. I don't think she needs a shaodw right now. Everything you say to her is like another slap in the face. "I told you so" ...meh. I'm looking out for you too, afterall, you were kind to me. It's not heatly to be so..obsessive. I'm sorry to butt in, once again.
I'm sorry, but I am going to have to defend Ryan here.. because seriously, this is his journal where he is allowed to express his feelings and I don't think he should have to censor anything, whether Jess reads it or not. Jess was friggen making plans with him for after high school and all of that crap, so to say that he is being obsessive, well maybe he is, but he has the right to because that is what she led him to!!! And like I said, this is his journal, so let him slap who he wants to in the face, and let him say what he needs to.. if you find it offensive then don't friggen read it. You say it is your business, and that he has been nothing but nice to you, then why don't you do the same for him and stay out of it. I understand that you are trying to be a good friend to him and to Jess but I think the best thing to do is let them figure it out for themselves and let Ryan take out his emotions the way he wants to take out his emotions. Point made. Deal with it.
Hmm... I know that you will find this suprising but... you *are* right. And I knew that when I stuck my head into any of it. I'm quite confused about tons of stuff at this point and... when I read that someone isn't happy... I dunno I'm stupid, you didn't have to be as cruel to tell me that. But I guess I needed to hear I'm a "suckish" person/friend by somebody. NO excuses though, Ryan, I am sorry. Very much so. Reason is, *I* have no idea what I'm talking about. I just saw the same type of thing happening to you that happened to me. All "you people" are so kind to your friends... sticking up for Ryan... it's kinda new to me and... enough babble. I take back all I have done wrong (should it be possible). Regret is horrid and hatred isn't to made of mistakes. If only I were stronger and not so ignorant. Veryw rong, very sorry to all. New start?
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I also wish that i was happy and i wish that i could accept the fact that people do love me....
god i should just right a poem too....
I guess we can't all win.
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-j
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you are a true friend <3
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