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Although I would definitely consider myself “far from over” him, still I’m not quite rinsed clean from all thoughts of “what if”, “why”, and “how is he doing?” The water isn’t running entirely clear this time. Maybe it never will be either. I can’t help but be curious as to what his sentiment reveals. Perhaps I shall just never know….perhaps I will ( Read more... ) -
Can't grasp anything with a tight enough grip these days
People are slipping away. My contentment is no longer with me. Happiness isnt a term i use very much only because Im not to sure what it means. There seems to be level of knowing a higher lever of being related to happiness and I am in no place right now to know what that is. Im tired of feeling alone, being lonely. Im tired of being unnoticed and ( Read more... ) -
Writer's Block: My Favorite Craft
"Arts and Crafts" I havent heard that term in awhile. To me at this point in my life or age really, it connotes the image of bare popsicle sticks bound together in some strange shapeless formation by globs of dripping Elmers glue and lots of thick twisted colored yarn finding its place within the congregation.... a chunk of magnetic stripping ( Read more... ) -
Ah Macinal Tech is taking my life over!
So, I'm backstage at Machinal tech again in my journal. I have so much homework to do and absolutey no time to complete it. DA, midterm reviews, monologues, scenes, the film work for stephs class, reading upon reading along with xtra stuff i need to get done AHHH! Kevin has been acting weird latley. I try calling him but he doesnt pick up. ( Read more... ) -
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Im really hoping to get my own apartment for next year! Thats going to be wonderful! Im praying to Lord Krishna that I can successful get my OWN place with a kitchen bedroom and livingroom! Im going to work sooo hard this summer and make money and get my self 'out there'. i need to start working and exercising my craft and making a living for ( Read more... ) -
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I like my apartment when its clean and quiet and calm and smelling good. when the lights are dim and natural light is filling the spaces. I feel as though it is almost a den. A pit at the bottom of a long succo tunnel extending toward the sky...opposite of the location of the actual apartment. I really want to watch Do the Right Thing with people ( Read more... ) -
Sweet and Sour
Kevin did the most amazing thing for me just now. He went out of his way completely to PAY for a plane ticket back here to LA for me. I couldnt say thank you that simply because that means nothing to me. The gratitude I have for what he did could never be described with a simple thank you and hug. I let him know that too. Im definitley going to ( Read more... ) -
My hair is GONE!!!!
Gone Daddy Gone the hair is Gone!!! Wow. i feel so LIBERATED and free and gorgeous!!! i feel totally beautiful inside and out! i cant beleive the amount of confidence and self love i now have. their was something about having my hair that was holding me back. it was a terrible rut that i was stuck in and their was some sort of frustration i held on ( Read more... ) -
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I cannot believe Im living in frat house this summer. It was cheap and the only thing that sounded affordable around the area so here i am i guess. it totally gross and itchy. I really realy want to go home and forget this place, just put my stuff in storage but i dont think thats gonna happen. i really just miss my mommy and my lil sister, my lil ( Read more... ) -
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I think I pretty much like women. I wish this was the case at least...biologically. There is something(s) that really turns me off of the male species. Like hairy butt cracks, farting in the silence, drooling in bed, being overly demanding, inconsiderate, cheap, annoying, noncaring, too attached, horny, uncontrollable, predictable, sex-driven, ( Read more... )