Comments | sober_cannibal: about me. about my drinking. first entry.

sober_cannibal

about me. about my drinking. first entry.

Jan 21, 2010 09:08

i figure starting a journal to vent anonymously and meet people who are going through a similar experience is a good idea. i'm just going to start at the beginning, when it comes to my drinking.

i drank for the first time when i was 14, i think. (well you know - DRANK drank. i had probably snuck beer before, but i'm not counting that.) tequila, at ( Read more... )

Comments 6

innana88 January 21 2010, 22:24:18 UTC

I know you said that you don't want to go to AA, and I'm not going to push it on you, I promise. I hate it when people do that and want to run the other way. I go primarily for the solidarity and the accountability, but I agree that I need address the issues behind my addictions as well and not just the addiction itself ( ... )

sober_cannibal January 22 2010, 13:26:58 UTC

sorry i made you late!!! hehe

i guess i'm not DEAD SET against AA, i think my primary reason also has to do with the spiritual side, but not in the way most people are offended by the spiritual side. i am a spiritual person, even a christian, and i do believe in god. but the whole "interfaith" movement sort of gives me the heebies. haha. i like to keep my spirituality here, and my addiction recovery there, if you know what i mean. i'm sure it could help in some ways to entertwine the two, but i would rather go to my OWN spiritual leaders, that i know and trust, for spiritual guidance on my addiction - and then a secular expert for more grounded, psychological guidance. but maybe i have a misunderstanding or a cloudy view on exactly how "spiritual" AA is. you would know better than i would! clue me in if you can. :)

and thanks for the applause! day 2, now. and i even went to a couples dinner last night where others were drinking. A-HA! every little victory, right?

man, we do sound similar! haha. it's crazy. i'm also a sort of ( ... )

innana88 January 22 2010, 18:28:08 UTC

man, we do sound similar! haha. it's crazy. i'm also a sort of dramatic, open, fairly talkative, expressive, "larger than life" type of person. which is somewhat contradictory because my self-esteem is somewhat damaged and i consider myself introverted and socially awkward. but boy, can i ever perform.Are you me? Seriously. This is hilarious! Some people have no idea what the hell to do with me. I've grown less introverted and awkward over the years, thankfully. In some ways, I've become the performance, which is really quite a good thing, rather than a bad one. Performing led me to be comfortable enough to be 'out there' and gradually I made pieces of myself that I hid become part of the performance and vice versa. Other than hiding the obvious, I feel most authentically me when I'm teaching, which is such a performance. Gradually, I've let that seep into my more personal conversations. It's hard to explain. Gah ( ... )

sober_cannibal January 23 2010, 18:59:00 UTC

have you ever taken an enneagram test? i'm curious, since we seem to have some things in common. my favorite variation of the test is here ( ... )

kamrushepash January 26 2010, 23:31:59 UTC

Hi! I just found your lj today and friended you; I still drink, but am very ambivalent about doing so and so go back and forth between I quit and I drink...endlessly, it seems. Today I just figured out some issues from my past that I know have been the cause of my weight issues, and most probably my drinking ones, too. Here's to finding out and healing ourselves!

sober_cannibal January 28 2010, 13:18:43 UTC

absolutely! i'm glad you added me. :)

it's definitely hard to face down your demons and try to set things right; but at this stage (in my life at least) there's no other option. i'm tired of it consuming my life. i want to LIVE, and i won't be able to do that until i tackle this stuff. hopefully we can encourage each other along the way. <3