What the hell have I amounted to? what the does it matter now?

.Breath.. just breath.

Nothing I do is ever going to be good enough. It’s not fair, life’s not fair.

I need to stop letting…
A) Food
B) Athletics
C) Grades

…effect my mood. But what is acceptable to affect my mood? What is god enough?

i swear there is something wrong with me

“Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty.”

I am mad.
I am inane.

"Love without passion is dreary; passion without love is horrific.”

How am I supposed to know if im wrong?

no one f-ing needs this vacation more than I.

well i knew i was too happy. i was feeling great about everything for a good 8 hours. oh well. back to stressed school work,sports,college stuff, ect ect wtf why cant i do anyhting right

If something sucks it always will. Don’t tell me it will get better, no, you just move one. But when you remember it, it will still suck. Trust me. You don’t look back on the holocaust and say on its not that bad. No it still sucks just as much as the day it happened. But the funny thing is that there is noting you can do. What happens, happens. ( Read more... )

todo:
make a list of college app. deadlines
do college apps
clean room so i can breath without contaminating my self
email des' mom my profile
mix it up day stuff
decide if i am going to do the whole class' history project
health project
2 physics sheets
1 calc hw assignment
go get dress for fashion show
work
sleep more so i dont keep getting sick

As if I don’t kill my self enough for the C I have. I hate myself and I do enough of it. Why does my mom have to make me feel so much worse?

why cant i handle this?

I havent been there for the longest time
my friend b. joel

I dont feel right. gah. i dont know. i just dont like it. I cant explain it i kind of just want to rip my insides out. i think i ate too much sugar and mud and piss poor preformance.