Social anxiety sucks ass. I can totally relate to much of what you wrote. And the sad part pan is that people not only pick up on it, but they interpret it completely wrong, as in the person is either creepy, stuck up or conceited (had that assumed about me).
I am not American and one observation I have made about American culture ls that extroversion seems to be a much more important trait to have. If you're quiet or shy, it's seen as a major character flaw, whereas in my country of birth, it would almost be seen as a positive thing to not be super outgoing.
I cannot imagine how difficult college must be here for someone who isn't outgoing and naturally sociable. I admire you for making an effort and not just giving up. It's not your fault that people are ignorant and judge you too quickly without allowing time to get to know you, so you can break the ice.
I have a gender-fluid friend who frequently expresses fears like yours. It breaks my heart. They are reasonably afraid of physical and psychological violence because people where they live tend to be intolerant. Even people who purport to be allies of, or closely involved with, the local LGBT community have been known to have issues regarding trans and genderqueer folks. (WTF?) Combine this terror with social anxiety and panic attacks.... Ugh, in a way, it makes me grateful to be cis. My friend often can't decide whether people are really that scary, or if it's mostly depression and anxiety talking.
I'm afraid my secondhand sympathy isn't what you need, but please know that I do sympathize as much as I possibly can, and I think you are extremely brave to present your true self despite fear.
Being transgender and having social anxiety is extremely difficult and I consider the city I live in to be generally intolerant, even though nothing has happened to me yet. Every day is fear - formerly mundane tasks that actually were pretty scary before due to SA are now terrifying prospects. I only shop at certain times, I'm careful as to where and when I put gas in the car and I have my earplugs permanently attached to drown out and laughter or nasty comments and I avoid looking at anyone directly. That's pretty much my life as a transwoman and although being male would have ultimately caused me to commit suicide, this is no picnic either
( ... )
I'm kinda torn between 2 worlds: on the one hand, I am very introverted and find being around others draining, but on the other hand, I feel like I need to socialize sometimes and have a connection with people outside of the internet.
As for being LGBT, do you mean passable? I am not that passable....maybe with a good makeup job, but it is noticeable. This makes going out an even more daunting task. Even grocery shopping is a major stress.
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I am not American and one observation I have made about American culture ls that extroversion seems to be a much more important trait to have. If you're quiet or shy, it's seen as a major character flaw, whereas in my country of birth, it would almost be seen as a positive thing to not be super outgoing.
I cannot imagine how difficult college must be here for someone who isn't outgoing and naturally sociable. I admire you for making an effort and not just giving up. It's not your fault that people are ignorant and judge you too quickly without allowing time to get to know you, so you can break the ice.
Do any meds help for social anxiety?
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I'm afraid my secondhand sympathy isn't what you need, but please know that I do sympathize as much as I possibly can, and I think you are extremely brave to present your true self despite fear.
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As for being LGBT, do you mean passable? I am not that passable....maybe with a good makeup job, but it is noticeable. This makes going out an even more daunting task. Even grocery shopping is a major stress.
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