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[socialobscenity]

i have been in an absolutely manic state of creativity lately and, while on the one hand it is really cool and interesting, on the other hand it is a lot to handle. i don't know where this came from, but it has literally been keeping me up at night, to the point where i get 5 or so hours of sleep and then have to wake up and go to work. today at ak

Comments

[thesoil]

exciting/challenging thoughts! perhaps we can talk about this sometime? i often bounce back and forth about my feelings on these same subjects.

i've also read wendy o's book, in fact, it was my bible while in a year and a half non monogs relationship with two people.

xoxo

[special_k2]

i heard that!

we most certainly need to set aside some time (after work or on the weekend) to chat about this. personally i find myself having trouble with some of the same points, especially the "then: 'points' three and four." yes, they have more to do with identity politics but as we all know, we will have much healthier [platonic, emotional, physical, etc.] relationships once we get our selves worked out - like that could really ever happen though!

anyway, i'll see you latah tonight. but we should make food/dessert one night and talk about ourselves and the people we love/have loved, it will be awesome.

<3

[sweetkaya]

I see your points....however do you feel that it is a natural human tendency to feel jealousy or is it a social construct? I´ve been trying to figure this out forever because if there is one thing I hate to feel most in the world is believe jelousy. But I seriously cannot help it. I do believe jelousy does stem from insecurity, however...i feel it is almost impossible to find one human being on earth who isn´t insecure in one form or another....what do you think?

[socialobscenity]

yes! this is a huge part of the problem of deconstructing this for me. i used to argue that jealousy was 'natural' (and to some extent, of course it is), but as i've been reflecting on it and growing more and more i see it as a social construct. i don't think it could be entirely one or the other, but i think that it is constructed in large part, and feeds off of insecurity, which is also almost exclusively socially constructed.

either way, i know i am a terribly jealous person and i really fucking hate it and know it's not cool. and i know that to some extent, if not entirely, it's my job to break myself out of feeling that way. i've gotten somewhat better in the last year or so, though i know i need more work, but this tells me that it can't all be human nature or else we'd all have a much more difficult time overcoming it, right?

anyway. yeah it's tough to think about. we should totally talk about this.

[sweetkaya]

Okay...So I was talking about this with some friends last night. I rememember reading in my neuro class that biologically speaking women tend to look for mates that offer them protection and security. The reason being, we are mothers and with less physical strength (even though this can be modified ) and must take care of the children. Also, physically we are built is can be modified. Thus, in the hostile world, primitive or modern, women search for protectors. So, when a man is off with another woman, he is not around protecting her, and her protection is furthermore threatened

[socialobscenity]

yeah these are all really good thoughts, and i wish i could come up with/be given some sort of satisfactory explanation of 'human nature', but i truly don't think its possible to make any claim to know what that is at this point in the existence of humans as a species. civilization fucks with natural processes, and makes it really difficult, i think, to draw a distinction between 'nature' and social construct

p.s.

[socialobscenity]

about what your friend was saying, i know i feel that way from personal experience. even when i've been with a partner who i know was not actually (read: physically) cheating, i felt a lot more threatened by the prospect of him connecting to another woman emotionally than i did by the idea of him kissing her (even tho both were upsetting). this is something i feel especially shitty about, even if i don't think it's completely unjustified. i mean, it makes sense why i would feel that way, but i also think it's not very fair or positive in any way to stifle someone i love and not allow them to exercise their full range of potential emotions and interactions with anyone they want to.

[p_wah]

Relationships are an every changing and flowing aspect of human exsistance...
...it is best to always be open and just flow with what life brings you. Ive been in open non defined relationships and monogomous ones. I think no matter the situation one should always be open and never hide emotions or themselves. Humans like to box themselves in so greatly within this weird social fabric that they have created for themselves. In the end always remain free. Prisons dont always have doors.....