So I'm finally living alone. It's wonderful. Having my own space is something I have wanted and needed since I was 13. My mess is my mess and no one else's mess annoys me. I can have whoever I want over and never feel awkward about it. I never have to feel like a drug addict alcoholic hussy ever again. Yes ( Read more... )

Took the day off work. Went to every doctor imaginable. Getting through getting through. Cant wait to be in L.a. with people who will love me. And then I'll find the love for myself. I wish I could stop loving him immediately. I want to hurt him so badly. Quiero cortar esa pinche cara bonita. Queiro pegarlo hasta que esta en el suelo llorando y ( Read more... )

It's over. I'm done. I'm a new woman. Now I will find my strength. I ignored the signs, but no more. You are done. We are done.

I continue to scream and yell at them. "How many tens are in 33?"... "um..two?". I swear I feel like I am talking to air sometimes. I need to not get mad...but every day feels like a losing battle ( Read more... )

So I don't even remember the last time I wrote in this thing. I don't know why...maybe too busy... But now as I sit in the airport with no pen and no paper and I great need to get these feelings out I use this forum ( Read more... )

I have finally left Oberlin and all I can say is that I feel once again so uprooted. This last month of humid Ohio days lulling about, reading and drinking beers on porches is done. Being in Oberlin was wonderful without students around and actually feeling like part of the town. But now I am here in Hayward, in TFA induction and have been swept up ( Read more... )

So...this is finals. I have pretty much finished everything except proofreading my Spanish paper and my thesis. And then I have to go to San Fran on Thursday to Sunday to interview with schools and take the CSET, which I'm convinced I will not pass. I just can't believe this is all coming to an end. I will be back in Oberlin until the 2oth and then ( Read more... )

I have no more tears. I have been crying for 2 days straight and I'm done. Just left with a ball in the pit of my stomach that won't go away. What a fucking piece of shit. All fucking 3 of them. No one has ever hurt me as much. I didn't deserve that.

So apparently I'm fucking crazy. So Kenneth did call me that night. Except, I had absolutely no recollection of the conversation. I spent all day mad at him and when he finally showed up at my apartment, I was getting ready to yell when he goes "Sara, I did call you" And I look at him bewildered. He says, "Check your phone". And what do you know ( Read more... )

I woke up yesterday with fingers clenched around my heart. He left. I wept. Knowing that I've gone too far and now there's no turning back. But I try so hard not to love him. I don't want to. But it's happened and the love pours out in tears of anxiety and sadness. That isn't supposed to be how it is ( Read more... )