The Unicorn Who Interrupted an Angel of the Lord
Title: The Unicorn Who Interrupted an Angel of the Lord
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating/Warnings: PG, spoilers through end of season 4
Characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, unicorn
Word Count: 1,060
Disclaimer: I disclaim it!
Summary: Part Four in the Unicorn Verse collaboration between myself and maskedfangirl. Castiel has important information for the Winchesters, but the presence of a unicorn may stand in their way of hearing it.
[Part One][ Part Two][ Part Three]
Dean and Sam were tired. Wearily they dragged themselves from the Impala and strode toward their motel room. “We can’t keep doing this Dean,” said Sam. “Working regular old jobs and working against Lucifer. We are spreading ourselves too thin.”
Dean sighed. He knew Sam was right, but at the moment all he wanted to do was sink into the crappy motel mattress and fall asleep. However, someone was sitting outside their room, leaning against the door. Castiel had his knees up in front of his chest, his elbows resting on them, his trench coat splayed out on the ground on either side of him. He stood up as the Winchesters approached, as if he had been waiting for them for some time.
Castiel had been different since his experience with the archangel, but he didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Surely before... well, before the apocalypse Castiel wouldn’t have been sitting on the ground waiting for someone to let him in.
“I have important information,” said Castiel.
“Good,” yawned Sam, unlocking the door. “Can we hear it in the morning?”
“I’d prefer to give it now,” Castiel stared intensely at Dean Winchester's profile.
“Aw crap,” said Sam, as the door swung open.
Dean looked into the room. “Son of a bitch,” he said.
“Hi! Deaners! Sammy Wammy!” brayed the familiar voice.
Castiel’s brow furrowed and he leaned over to peak around the door. His eyes immediately narrowed into tiny slits of blue. “Unicorn!” Castiel growled, his voice lowering at least an octave.
The unicorn sneered, pulling away from Castiel. His tail swished in anger, lollipops and butterscotch candies flinging into the walls and shattering. “Angel!” he snarled.
“Dude, how did you know he was an angel?” Dean wondered aloud, and then kicking himself, because he already knew the response.
“I’M A UNICORN! What, next are you gonna wonder how your stupid faced angel friend here knows I’m a unicorn?”
“Make him leave,” bellowed Castiel.
“I really wish I knew how,” Sam muttered.
“At least he provides us with candy,” Dean pointed out. “At least when he’s not smashing it into the walls.”
“I can’t believe you guys are friends with an angel,” said the unicorn. “What’s next? Leprechauns?”
Castiel simply stood in the doorway and stared daggers at the unicorn, who was angrily snowing glitter all over the motel room’s apparently snot-themed yellow and green decor.
The Winchesters looked at each other and seemed to decide that neither of them had the energy to deal with any angel or unicorn drama at the moment. They dropped their stuff just inside the doorway and flopped down on the furniture; Sam on a too small chair and Dean on one of the beds, still sitting up and his arms crossed over his chest.
“You really must vacate this room immediately,” Castiel told the unicorn, his voice still so impossibly low that Dean was surprised human ears could even hear it. “I have vital information for the Winchesters.”
Sam raised his eyebrows. “And it’s unfit for delicate unicorn ears.”
The unicorn stomped his foot angrily, sending out sparks and rainbows and flower petals. “My ears are not delicate. YOUR ears are delicate.”
“I’d rather not say anything of import in the company of this... unicorn.” Castiel’s nostrils flared at the word “unicorn”.
The unicorn sighed. “Well, I’d rather not spend anytime at all around any of you, but here we all are.”
“Then why are you here at all?” asked Dean.
“I...” The unicorn appeared not to have a good answer for that.
Castiel glared at the unicorn and pointed toward the door. “Go,” he commanded.
The unicorn huffed indignantly, glitter flying from his nostrils to drift onto Castiel’s coat. And into Castiel’s hair. And onto Castiel’s frowning face.
“Dude, why do you guys hate each other so much?” Sam asked.
“I’M A UNICORN!” shouted the unicorn, as though this were answer enough.
Castiel looked to Sam wearily. “Angels and unicorns have always hated each other. It is a feud that goes back millennia. Ever since the unicorns... well... they did something.”
“Unicorns?” balked the unicorn. “It was the angels that started it!”
“No way,” said Castiel. “Unicorns are always starting things.”
“As if!”
“Your mom!”
“How dare you insult my mother! Deaners is good friends with my mother!”
“That was just a joke!” shouted Dean, pleading from across the room.
“What? You lied to me?” the unicorn balked, sounding overly offended. “I am out of here, and don’t expect any more tail candy!” The unicorn’s tail betrayed him however, as he swished it with an angry flourish and several caramel apple suckers fell to the dingy floor.
Dean stalked behind the unicorn, following him out. He picked up one of the suckers and blew the germs off. “And stop calling me ‘Deaners’!” he shouted out the door, before shutting it and popping the sucker into his mouth.
“Dude, gross,” said Sam. “This floor is nasty and caramel is sticky.”
Dean ignored him and turned to Cas, who was still looking a bit put out by the fact that a unicorn had been there. Or maybe he was just as grossed out as Sam was by Dean eating the tail candy. “So what was this vital intel?” Dean asked.
Castiel took a breath, apparently trying to regain his composure and purge his anger. “We have discovered Lucifer’s favorite snack food,” Castiel said finally.
Sam blinked. “Lucifer eats junk food?”
“Of course. He has been enjoying many of the perks of being topside since his...” Castiel avoided making eye contact with Sam.
“Okay, what is Lucifer’s favorite snack food?” Dean gave in.
“The devil can’t seem to go a day without eating Doritos Special Edition Late Night Last Call Jalapeño Poppers chips.”
“Seriously?” asked Sam.
“This information could prove to be useful in finding Lucifer. Possibly in destroying him.”
Both Winchesters nodded in agreement. “Alright,” said Dean, licking caramel from his teeth. “But let’s just save that for morning and get some sleep.”
* * * *
It was nearly noon by the time Dean had gotten up, showered, and dressed. Sam was waiting patiently for him, browsing the internet, possibly researching Doritos retailers. Dean’s stomach rumbled and he went over to the freezer.
“Damn it!” he shouted. “Not again!”
“What?”
“Goddamn unicorn stole my Hot Pockets again!”
The Unicorn Who Ruined A Patented Winchester Heart-to-Heart
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating/Warnings: PG, spoilers through end of season 4
Characters: Sam, Dean, Castiel, unicorn
Word Count: 1,060
Disclaimer: I disclaim it!
Summary: Part Four in the Unicorn Verse collaboration between myself and maskedfangirl. Castiel has important information for the Winchesters, but the presence of a unicorn may stand in their way of hearing it.
[Part One][ Part Two][ Part Three]
Dean and Sam were tired. Wearily they dragged themselves from the Impala and strode toward their motel room. “We can’t keep doing this Dean,” said Sam. “Working regular old jobs and working against Lucifer. We are spreading ourselves too thin.”
Dean sighed. He knew Sam was right, but at the moment all he wanted to do was sink into the crappy motel mattress and fall asleep. However, someone was sitting outside their room, leaning against the door. Castiel had his knees up in front of his chest, his elbows resting on them, his trench coat splayed out on the ground on either side of him. He stood up as the Winchesters approached, as if he had been waiting for them for some time.
Castiel had been different since his experience with the archangel, but he didn’t seem to want to talk about it. Surely before... well, before the apocalypse Castiel wouldn’t have been sitting on the ground waiting for someone to let him in.
“I have important information,” said Castiel.
“Good,” yawned Sam, unlocking the door. “Can we hear it in the morning?”
“I’d prefer to give it now,” Castiel stared intensely at Dean Winchester's profile.
“Aw crap,” said Sam, as the door swung open.
Dean looked into the room. “Son of a bitch,” he said.
“Hi! Deaners! Sammy Wammy!” brayed the familiar voice.
Castiel’s brow furrowed and he leaned over to peak around the door. His eyes immediately narrowed into tiny slits of blue. “Unicorn!” Castiel growled, his voice lowering at least an octave.
The unicorn sneered, pulling away from Castiel. His tail swished in anger, lollipops and butterscotch candies flinging into the walls and shattering. “Angel!” he snarled.
“Dude, how did you know he was an angel?” Dean wondered aloud, and then kicking himself, because he already knew the response.
“I’M A UNICORN! What, next are you gonna wonder how your stupid faced angel friend here knows I’m a unicorn?”
“Make him leave,” bellowed Castiel.
“I really wish I knew how,” Sam muttered.
“At least he provides us with candy,” Dean pointed out. “At least when he’s not smashing it into the walls.”
“I can’t believe you guys are friends with an angel,” said the unicorn. “What’s next? Leprechauns?”
Castiel simply stood in the doorway and stared daggers at the unicorn, who was angrily snowing glitter all over the motel room’s apparently snot-themed yellow and green decor.
The Winchesters looked at each other and seemed to decide that neither of them had the energy to deal with any angel or unicorn drama at the moment. They dropped their stuff just inside the doorway and flopped down on the furniture; Sam on a too small chair and Dean on one of the beds, still sitting up and his arms crossed over his chest.
“You really must vacate this room immediately,” Castiel told the unicorn, his voice still so impossibly low that Dean was surprised human ears could even hear it. “I have vital information for the Winchesters.”
Sam raised his eyebrows. “And it’s unfit for delicate unicorn ears.”
The unicorn stomped his foot angrily, sending out sparks and rainbows and flower petals. “My ears are not delicate. YOUR ears are delicate.”
“I’d rather not say anything of import in the company of this... unicorn.” Castiel’s nostrils flared at the word “unicorn”.
The unicorn sighed. “Well, I’d rather not spend anytime at all around any of you, but here we all are.”
“Then why are you here at all?” asked Dean.
“I...” The unicorn appeared not to have a good answer for that.
Castiel glared at the unicorn and pointed toward the door. “Go,” he commanded.
The unicorn huffed indignantly, glitter flying from his nostrils to drift onto Castiel’s coat. And into Castiel’s hair. And onto Castiel’s frowning face.
“Dude, why do you guys hate each other so much?” Sam asked.
“I’M A UNICORN!” shouted the unicorn, as though this were answer enough.
Castiel looked to Sam wearily. “Angels and unicorns have always hated each other. It is a feud that goes back millennia. Ever since the unicorns... well... they did something.”
“Unicorns?” balked the unicorn. “It was the angels that started it!”
“No way,” said Castiel. “Unicorns are always starting things.”
“As if!”
“Your mom!”
“How dare you insult my mother! Deaners is good friends with my mother!”
“That was just a joke!” shouted Dean, pleading from across the room.
“What? You lied to me?” the unicorn balked, sounding overly offended. “I am out of here, and don’t expect any more tail candy!” The unicorn’s tail betrayed him however, as he swished it with an angry flourish and several caramel apple suckers fell to the dingy floor.
Dean stalked behind the unicorn, following him out. He picked up one of the suckers and blew the germs off. “And stop calling me ‘Deaners’!” he shouted out the door, before shutting it and popping the sucker into his mouth.
“Dude, gross,” said Sam. “This floor is nasty and caramel is sticky.”
Dean ignored him and turned to Cas, who was still looking a bit put out by the fact that a unicorn had been there. Or maybe he was just as grossed out as Sam was by Dean eating the tail candy. “So what was this vital intel?” Dean asked.
Castiel took a breath, apparently trying to regain his composure and purge his anger. “We have discovered Lucifer’s favorite snack food,” Castiel said finally.
Sam blinked. “Lucifer eats junk food?”
“Of course. He has been enjoying many of the perks of being topside since his...” Castiel avoided making eye contact with Sam.
“Okay, what is Lucifer’s favorite snack food?” Dean gave in.
“The devil can’t seem to go a day without eating Doritos Special Edition Late Night Last Call Jalapeño Poppers chips.”
“Seriously?” asked Sam.
“This information could prove to be useful in finding Lucifer. Possibly in destroying him.”
Both Winchesters nodded in agreement. “Alright,” said Dean, licking caramel from his teeth. “But let’s just save that for morning and get some sleep.”
* * * *
It was nearly noon by the time Dean had gotten up, showered, and dressed. Sam was waiting patiently for him, browsing the internet, possibly researching Doritos retailers. Dean’s stomach rumbled and he went over to the freezer.
“Damn it!” he shouted. “Not again!”
“What?”
“Goddamn unicorn stole my Hot Pockets again!”
The Unicorn Who Ruined A Patented Winchester Heart-to-Heart